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Mary Worth, 7/15/17

Good news, everyone! Katie and Derek’s marital difficulties are solved, as long as Derek maintains a steadfast refusal to look at anyone other than his wife. Because if sees someone else and they happen to be smoking, Derek will want to fuck them. Not because he’s horny or a cheater, you understand, but just because that’s the quickest route to access to some sweet, sweet cigarettes. That blond fellow in panel one, enjoying a quick vacation in flavor country? Derek would’ve fucked that guy and fucked him good if he hadn’t been staring straight ahead. And then afterwards, when dude was still basking in the afterglow, Derek would’ve grabbed his cigs and been gone.

Hi and Lois, 7/15/17

Aw, is Hi sad because his family doesn’t want to hang out with him? Well, Lois is sad because she’s chained forever to someone with a crushing narrowness of imagination.

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Hi and Lois, 7/2/17

tfw the external forms of patriotic celebration are more important to you than the practical matters of political liberty

Crankshaft, 7/2/17

tfw you almost never talk about your dead wife and when you do it becomes clear why: you can only associate her with your vigorous youth, which makes you all the more ashamed that you are now old and decrepit and alone

Mary Worth, 7/2/17

tfw some old lady hands you a picture of you and your wife and it convinces you to … recommit yourself to your marriage somehow? by tracking her down and yelling at her that she’s wrong until she loves you again? this is a plan that will definitely work!

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Mary Worth, 6/20/17

Oooh, it’s a tense nighttime confrontation on the cruise deck! I guess since the previous nighttime strip the moon has now set or the giant light on the top of the ship has been turned off or something, resulting in this all-blue scene, which was presumably filmed using day for night techniques. Anyhoo, it’s fun to watch ladies attempt to establish firm relationship boundaries and also displace their feelings about male misconduct onto each other, here in the dark!

Hi and Lois, 6/20/17

Shoutout to Hi and Lois for catching up with the times and allowing its adult characters to acknowledge the existence of emojis! Still, it’s good that it maintains some of the classic comics iconography that we all know and love, like corporate CEOs who preside over the the minutia of their company’s day-to-day business from a monogrammed throne.