Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/20/23

One of my little life problems is that I have an absolutely terrible memory for names, which as you can imagine is often embarrassing, because I can usually remember a lot of other stuff about a person I’ve met a few times, to the extent that we’re talking and hitting it off and it’s no longer socially acceptable for me to not know their name, frankly. I experience this same problem with characters in newspaper comic strips, and take it from me, it’s quite hard to Google the names of people in newspaper comic strips, especially when (a) you don’t know their name and have to work from descriptions like “guy in Rex Morgan, M.D., whose dad is a horror comics artist” and (b) the deepest archive of textual material online about newspaper comic strips is on a blog that you yourself write, and you often find several entries where you wrote about the character whose name you’re trying to find in a way that makes it very clear that you couldn’t remember the name back then either and ended up writing around it.

This is a long way of saying that I do appreciate that Hank and Yvonne keep introducing themselves to Fergus, but: I’ve got it, now! They can stop! It’s just getting weird, honestly! I guarantee you that even though Mud appears to have retained their last name, he only thinks of Yvonne as “the woman who will not shut up about ‘Muddy Boots.’”

Hi and Lois, 4/20/23

Guys, the CSI franchise is very much on CBS. Were there no HBO shows you could think of for this gag? Sopranos Street? Sesame Succession? Does Walker-Browne Amalgamated Humor Industries LLC not pay its jokesmiths enough to afford premium cable?

Dennis the Menace, 4/20/23

Ha ha, just a little light demonic possession! I judge this: pretty menacing.

Post Content

Hi and Lois, 4/14/23

“I mean, look at these drips! None of them are charismatic or even vaguely attractive, and they’re already in high school and yet have failed to break 1,000 followers on any platform. We’re falling behind our peer nations! America needs an influencer moonshot if we have any hope of keeping up!”

Shoe, 4/14/23

“Ha ha, get it? Because of your many anxieties, which might be amusing for other people to watch you talk about? I’ve read through the HIPAA documentation and I didn’t see anything in there that says it applies to birds.”

Family Circus, 4/14/23

You notice this guy isn’t asking this about any of the other Keane Kids. “He sure is staring pretty intently at that bug … that’s probably curiosity, right?”

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 4/11/23

Oh, gosh, I guess I’ve been failing to keep you informed on Actual Sports Action in Gil Thorp, although obviously you’re fully up to date on Unsettlingly Realistic Mascot Action. Anyway, during the championship game, a collision between two players caused one of them to go into cardiac arrest, just like what happened to the Buffalo Bills’ Damar Hamlin, but unlike those wimps in the NFL, our high school players finished their game and the Mudlarks won the championship to cap off an undefeated season. I’m showing you today’s strip because I know it contains action you do care about (Coach Hernandez whispering erotic threats into Gil’s ear).

Dick Tracy, 4/11/23

Meanwhile, in Dick Tracy, there’s a new criminal with a strong theme on the loose, and you can tell by Dick’s face in the final panel the withering contempt he holds this guy in. “Remember when my rogues gallery consisted of people with horrible scars or mutations, and perpetrating violence was the thing they loved most of all? Well, now I’m going up against a guy who’s into [extremely heavy sigh] classic game show.”

Dennis the Menace, 4/11/23

I guess the joke here is that this birthday party is such a wild ride with Dennis and the other local brats that a normal clown can’t handle it, but that doesn’t really match up with what we’re seeing, which is a bunch of children standing around holding balloons politely. So maybe Mr. Wilson is actually just hoping a violently bucking bull will soon burst through the fence, trampling everybody to death.

Hi and Lois, 4/11/23

I am absolutely in favor of Hi and Lois leaning into a new concept for Hi and Thirsty’s work life: that Mr. Foofram is a weak nebbish that Thirsty and Hi constantly walk all over. “He’s taking me out to lunch — then we’re gonna come back and fuck on your desk, so you might want to clear out.”

Pluggers, 4/11/23

Many years ago I caught some blowback for smugly claiming that pluggers live in filth because they’re gross and lazy. Now that I’m older and wiser, but mostly older, I see the truth: pluggers live in filth simply because most filth is on the floor, and you have to bend over to get to it.

Mary Worth, 4/11/23

I’ve been trying for a while to come up with my own joke about this strip but I’m afraid it’s perfect and requires no elaboration? Enjoy Estelle efficiently finding a solution for this beefy man and his ailing boa constrictor that doesn’t add to Dr. Ed’s workload or emotional load, everybody!