Funky Winkerbean, 1/27/09
This isn’t just some cheesy motivational ploy; it’s very important that characters in Funky Winkerbean learn how to efficiently dig a grave.
Judge Parker, 1/27/09
“She’s probably still mad about that time that I slapped her, and then didn’t get in trouble for it, because I’m rich! Gosh, I don’t know what it is with poor people and their constant complaining. Why can’t they learn to just let things go?”
Judge Parker, 1/14/09
If the Dixie Julep story has taught us anything, it’s that Judge Parker loves a violent blonde. But hopefully, as this story unfolds and we watch Sophie wreak a righteous, Carrie-style vengeance against snooty cheerleaders and everyone else who ever wronged her, we’ll learn that sometimes, the violent blondes are violent for a reason.
It’s worth noting that this storyline is part of Sophie’s continuing transformation, from a pantsuit-wearing prepubescent superbrain to a surly teenager with a hair-trigger temper. Said transformation has taken 14 months of real time, which is actually halfway realistic, but (and hopefully Uncle Lumpy can come up with the exact number) only about six days of strip time, which is less so. It’s possible that this shockingly rapid onset of puberty is precisely what’s causing her erratic and aggressive behavior.
Herb and Jamaal, 1/14/09
Having seen Jamaal trying to bust a move on Yolanda for much of the last four years, I can see why he doesn’t understand how Herb came to have a wife … or a daughter, for that matter. But a mother-in-law? “Gee, Jamaal, I don’t think I ever implied that my wife was grown in a lab.”
Apartment 3-G, 1/14/09
Hey, look, after three months, we’ve returned to Lu Ann in South Dakota! Last we saw her she was reconnecting with Cody Styles, and now she’s … reconnecting with Cody Styles. I’m beginning to form a theory about Apartment 3-G’s singular failure to follow Lu Ann’s prairie adventures: the producers have been unable to hire locals for extras at poverty rates, discovering to their surprise that these hardy midwesterners still have too much dignity to appear in this comic.
Judge Parker, 1/11/09
Oh my God, Judge Parker’s retirement party! Do you know how long ago this Randy-Parker-“runs”-to-succeed-his-father has been going on? More than two years! Not that we’ve heard much about it since Randy’s gay-baiting opponent’s wife had a drunken public meltdown, and it’s true that no sham, North Korea-style election could really follow that up. Still, it will be exciting to watch this combination retirement party/swearing in ceremony, when judicial power is handed down from father to son, as our Founding Fathers intended.
Curtis, 11/11/09
Ha ha! Can you imagine? A linguistic system in which words can mean the opposite of their meaning in conventional discourse! Mercy! I’m pretty impressed that Greg has managed to father two young children at the age of 109.