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Blondie, 3/16/21

I know it can be hard to remember, since his character design is “Dagwood but with slightly smaller antenna and more normal clothes,” but Alexander is supposed to be a teenager! You’d definitely would definitely never get that from today’s strip by itself, since if there’s one thing teenagers don’t do very often, it’s praise old-timey TV genres that are being watched by their dad but in real life would be mostly enjoyed by people thirty years older than their dad. They’re not real observant about cleanliness, either, in my experience!

Shoe, 3/16/21

This strip got me thinking not so much about Roz’s love life as it did about the justice system established by and for the bird-people of Shoe. Specifically, I wondered, what form of execution is visited upon avian-human hybrids sentenced to death for their transgressions? Then I remembered that this has already been answered: the most heinous bird-criminals are cooked and eaten.

Judge Parker, 3/16/21

It has come to our attention that we recently hinted that something interesting, or at least violent, was about to happen in Judge Parker. We sincerely regret the error and invite you to sit back and enjoy this strip’s upcoming long and detailed look into the tax issues that can arise from converting residential or agricultural property to commercial use.

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Judge Parker, 3/12/21

So the current Judge Parker storyline has veered back to ex-CIA assassin on the lam April maybe stalking her ex and their daughter, but mostly I wanted to show you these very good drawings of Randy just having a complete meltdown. It’s pretty fun, right? Pretty fun that this child of privilege is just utterly losing, as his bad decision to marry the daughter of an arms-dealing clan comes back to bite him in the ass, repeatedly? To borrow a meme from the kids, here’s how it started:

And how it’s going:

The Lockhorns, 3/12/21

I’m absolutely loving the idea that before he met Loretta, Leroy refused to make romantic connections with anyone he couldn’t contact toll-free on his landline. The customer service reps at major home and auto insurance agencies? The good people at Time-Life Books? The time-and-temperature lady? Just a few of the broken hearts Leroy left in his wake.

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Dennis the Menace, 2/21/21

After a solid year of ignoring the coronavirus pandemic and muddling through in its mostly ’50s nostalgia world, Dennis the Menace has decided to abruptly leap into current events with both feet. How would Mr. Wilson — an elderly man whose human contact comes almost entirely from his wife, who he tolerates, and the neighbor kid, who he despises — deal with the isolating effects of social distancing? Well, it turns out the answer is “great.” Not so great for Dennis’s parents, obviously! There’s a reason they let him wander unsupervised through the neighborhood, after all.

Judge Parker, 2/21/21

It’s no secret that Judge Parker has gotten significantly less zany in the post-Woody Wilson era. That’s why I’m very excited about it taking a sharp turn into a new chapter, and that new chapter is: Godiva Danube: Ghost Sexpot!