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Dick Tracy, 10/10/20

Oh, I get it now! Hope, Faith, and Charity inherited money from their distant uncle, who otherwise would’ve left it to his “eccentric” vampire pals, who would’ve used it to upgrade their prototype fang and pump system; without that funding, the project still isn’t quite at production-level quality. Now the vampires are trying to knock off the sisters to get their hands on the cash; not sure why they apparently feel compelled to do so using their subpar blood-draining apparatus instead of just, like, shooting them or whatever, though I guess it’s probably the same reasons driving them to build such an device in the first place. Anyway, jokes on you, vampires! The surviving sisters just blew the rest of the money on a sweet car, plus that’s not actually how inheritance law works.

Daddy Daze, 10/10/20

You know who else wasn’t of royal birth? A guy who was born on a backwards Genovese island colony in 1769 and given the name of Napoleone di Buonaparte! I genuinely love that, as his father drones on with outdated ideas of who can and who can’t become king, this terrifying baby is performing his own coronation with a crown he made himself. I guess we’re all his subjects now?

The Lockhorns, 10/10/20

I mean … can he? Leroy’s facial expression really seems to be of a guy who’s been trying upwards of a minute to break that club over his leg, without success. He knows he looks more absurd with each passing moment, but he can’t back out now!

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Funky Winkerbean, 10/5/20

Hey, remember beloved (?) Funkyverse supporting character Adeela, an Iraqi (?) immigrant who forged an unlikely bond with Wally because they both have PTSD from the same (?) war? Welp, she’s getting deported now, because of a clerical error! Please, my sides just stopped aching from the time you burned down half of Los Angeles, you’ve got to give me some time to relax before you bring this level of laffs back to the newspaper.

Gil Thorp, 10/5/20

I’m woefully underqualified to judge the sports action in Gil Thorp, but … Curtis Charles and his Ballard opponent aren’t so much fighting for position as a potential touchdown pass is heaved their way as just kind of standing there and thinking “Huh, he threw the ball, whaddya know,” right? This really fits in with my firmly held belief that all the games within the Thorpiverse are in fact pretty boring to watch.

Dennis the Menace, 10/5/20

I’m really enjoying how much room Henry and Alice are putting between Dennis and themselves here. “This kid? The one who doesn’t seem to know even the basics of the religion we supposedly profess? Never seen him before, padre.”

The Lockhorns, 10/5/20

I say this with all due respect to The Lockhorns: you may be a longstanding comics page institution, but you do not occupy the same place in the comics world as Garfield and definitely do not have the resources necessary to survive a legal battle with Paws, Inc. I beg you to step back from this before it’s too late.

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Crankshaft, 10/4/20

Hey, remember the last mayoral election in this town, when Ralph, who’s sitting there claiming he could never do what you need to do to run for mayor, ran for mayor? He lost, because Crankshaft, his campaign manager, forgot to vote for him, and it’s really a good thing, too, because here we are not even at the end of what would’ve been his first term and his brain is so addled he doesn’t even remember he ever ran. Sad!

Gasoline Alley, 10/4/20

I refuse to think about whether the Sunday and weekly Gasoline Alley strips are in the same “continuity” any longer than it will take me to type this sentence, but I will point out that today’s strip that has the vibe of “We’ve been closed for months due to coronavirus but now we’re open!” even though we’ve never seen anyone in the strip acknowledge the coronavirus. Anyway, it seems the pandemic was actually much worse in the Gasoline Alley universe, and the shattered remnants of society have been reduced to eating horsemeat.

Hi and Lois, 10/4/20

Chip’s emotional journey here is interesting but besides the point: these two suburban families have figured out a way to link their landholdings and create a stronger and more easily defensible bloc of territory via strategic matrimony, and so everybody involved just needs to get used to the idea.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 10/4/20

I absolutely love Leroy’s miserable facial expression here. He knows everyone hates him and hates what he’s doing, but he’s found himself committed to this bit against his own best instincts, with no way to back out.