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Mark Trail, 5/23/20

“Well, of course, Mark, that’s understandable. But we’re not doing another camping trip for a couple of months. Maybe in the fall you might want to–”

“MY DOG, GEOFF. MY DOG ANDY. HE’S VERY BIG. MY CALENDAR IS EXTREMELY FULL, WITH ANDY TIME”

The Lockhorns, 5/23/20

Well, the online discourse that erupted after Martin Scorsese declared that Marvel movies aren’t cinema a few months ago has mostly died down, but Leroy? Leroy is ready to fan the flames again. Watch out, film Twitter!

Mary Worth, 5/23/20

“I can’t really explain it, but when I got to the airport in Santa Royale, the city where I grew up and where I go to college, I really felt like I was home! Probably because I live here, I guess. Oh, also Jared was there to drive me back to the condo or whatever.”

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Hi and Lois, 5/19/20

Sure, Amazon has cut out the middelman between publishers and readers, turning books into a low-cost mass commodity, but there’s still a space for true aficionados to browse carefully curated collections of fine novels, like [squints] John Grisham’s latest legal thriller, Camino Winds! Only the personal touch of a true bibliophile can connect you with that sort of enriching literature!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/19/20

Hmm, Truck looks a little dubious about this offer, doesn’t he? He knows that most of his fans are middle-aged dudes in loud print shirts who obsess over the distinctions between similar musical genres like Buck. Do we really want them gathering together, in “clubs,” and starting to realize their power and numbers? Sure, it would help Truck financially … but at what cost?

The Lockhorns, 5/19/20

Good news, everybody! The Lockhorns are getting divorced!

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Shoe, 4/28/20

Was Cats a box-office failure? Very much so. In fact, it’s one of the most prominent movie flops in recent memory! So it’s actually a good movie to pick for this joke … or it would be, if the joke weren’t about a dog hating it. C’mon, man! Is the joke about how a dog ID’d Cats as a financial failure because he’s a bomb-sniffing dog, or is it about a movie-reviewing dog who hated the movie Cats because he’s a dog who, like all stereotypical dogs, hates cats? YOUR JOKE IS OVERLOADED WITH SIGNIFIERS, damn it!

Crock, 4/28/20

This is comic written by someone who’s heard of books, and seen people on TV interacting with and talking about them, but has never actually read one.

The Lockhorns, 4/28/20

Pretty sure Leroy’s dying? Let’s be honest: it’s a blessing, for everyone concerned.