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Luann, 8/1/26

Much as it pains me to give Luann some credit, and much as it pains me to say anything positive about the “Brad and Toni have sex in the shower” interlude, I will admit that it’s a positive step that the strip has finally moved beyond ribaldry and is now admitting “Yes, the couples in our strip have sex, like normal people do.” Or at least some of the couples! Because I guess Phil and Luann might move in together, but possibly in separate bedrooms, and Luann is like “Oh, huh, well, this is … not what I expected?” Very odd situation for college (or older?) age adults to find themselves in, but at least we’re back to the old sexually confusing and/or gross Luann scenarios we all know and love.

Gil Thorp, 8/1/26

Quite an interesting list of wedding guests vendors Gil has assembled: his enemy-turned-pal/employee Coach Luke is his officiant, his enemy-turned-frenemy(?) Marty Moon is his DJ, and his still-current-enemy Coach Gerads is, nonconsensually, his bartender. Ha ha, he’s wearing Groucho glasses as a disguise, what a kook! I assume that he murdered the bartenders Gil hired and, via a slow-acting poison in the drinks, has also murdered most of the guests at this point.

Hi and Lois, 8/1/26

It’s not clear to me if Thirsty failed to make his usual golf time with Hi because he’s passed out drunk so Hi has been assigned a partner on the course, or if Hi has decided to make a new friend because Thirsty is chronically drunk and unreliable, but this guy’s shocked expression in panel two shows that he has a lot to learn about Hi’s complex emotional life. A guy who’s playing golf … even though he hates playing golf? Who ever heard of such a thing!

Archie, 8/1/26

So in order for this strip to work, you have to imagine that Archie’s dad abruptly and without explanation told his family to pack, checked out of their hotel early, and now they’ve been driving in silence for hours until his wife finally got the nerve up to ask what’s going on and he replies, heavy lidded, “I’m tired, dear. I’m so tired.” Pretty chilling!

Shoe, 8/1/26

Biz, I don’t think you should be making a sly, flirtatious face at Roz as you explain that all your friends are dead! I think that’s going to make everyone uncomfortable, actually.

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Blondie, 7/18/26

Blondie likes to make extremely on-the-nose jokes about obscure holidays. But they usually show up on the day itself, and National Ice Cream Day falls on a Sunday, of course. Maybe part of the joke is that Dagwood just can’t wait? I mean, look at the way he’s eyeing his wife’s dessert before he’s even finished his own.

Between Friends, 7/18/26

Big news in Between Friends: Maeve is getting married! Again! To her cheating, lying, emotionally manipulative, marginally employed snake of an ex-husband! If second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience, second marriage to this guy is how experience gets its revenge.

Heathcliff, 7/18/26

By car, scooter, elephant, cannon, or [squints] fish-guided bubblegum balloon—a cat’s gotta travel. Bro, man. Bro indeed.

Luann, 7/18/26

After months of agonizing “trying,” Toni Daytona-DeGroot is at last pregnant. “Thank God,” she exclaims, “I can finally stop having sex with Brad.”

Hey there! I’m filling in for Josh through Sunday the 26^th. Reach me at uncle.lumpy@comcast.net if you have any trouble with the site, your subscription, emails, or Patreon. Enjoy!

—Uncle Lumpy

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Judge Parker, 7/8/26

Hey, remember when Neddy tried to be a TV writer, and managed to sell Netflix a pilot about April, the violent, terrifying CIA assassin daughter-in-law of the strip’s namesake? Well, having run out of ideas after her first idea, she’s now trying to pitch a TV show about Ann, the violent, terrifying scam artist daughter of the strip’s namesake. She’s gonna keep at it until she runs out of daughters!

Mother Goose and Grimm, 7/8/26

So the way a joke works, usually, is that you start with a setup that’s grounded in the known and the expected, and then you hit your audience with a surprising twist. Like, imagine beloved cartoon character Bugs Bunny giving us his classic line, “What’s up, doc?” That’s expected. But then the point of view expands, and we can see that he’s not just delivering a saucy greeting — he’s actually requesting medical data from a doctor, who has some tough news for him. Now, would that be a good joke? Enh, not really. But, I submit to you, it would be recognizable as a joke, in a way that today’s Mother Goose and Grimm most definitely is not.

Luann, 7/8/26

Luann, meanwhile, is beyond “jokes,” and I respect it. Bernice is going to become an influencer for toilet perverts! There’s some backstory leading up to this, but honestly you don’t need it.