Post Content

Mary Worth, 8/17/10

Mary Worth has definitely been missing a certain something lately, and that something is frolicking. Earlier this year we got a few delightful days of Wilbur and his not-son frolicking in the woods; today, we are treated to a flashback of Dr. Mike’s dad and his cousin Richie proving that one can frolic in urban settings as well. As we all know, the best way to show that you’re having a good time is by means of ludicrously exaggerated gesticulation. Unfortunately, the thug driving that car will see them waving their hands and arms about, mistake the gestures for gang signs, and spray them with bullets. Watching Richie bleed to death in front of him will send Lonnie into the emotional tailspin that ended with the shattered man we saw lurching out of the bushes last week.

I notice that Richie is wearing the Han Solo-style outfit so beloved by characters in Apartment 3-G. I wonder if this is a message of solidarity from Mary Worth artist Joe Giella to A3G artist and fellow eightysomething comic book artist turned soap strip toiler Frank Bolle during the fashion escalation that is the makeover storyline. “Stay strong!” the vest is saying, symbolically. “Vests are cool, and people do wear them in real life. Margo will wear that vest again, some day!”

Luann, 8/17/10

Normally Mrs. DeGroot is on high alert to protect her children’s chastity, but the fact that Luann and Quill are sequestering themselves in Brad’s old room puts her mind at ease. On assumes that the pall of apathy and self-loathing that Brad left behind him still hangs thick in the air. It’s where erotic urges go to die.

Post Content

Jumble, 8/6/10

Well, the climax of the Jumble’s three-day slide into degradation and sleaze is frankly a little anticlimactic. A couple of bluehairs scandalized by porn? Enh. I’d prefer a couple of bluehairs discussing their favorite smut stars, myself. Still, points for rendering the lascivious leer on the gentleman in the poster so evocatively in the small space allotted.

Shoe, 8/6/10

It saddens me sometimes when I discover that I have an emotional connection to minor characters in even the lamest strips I cover. For instance, that bird-man on the left is longtime strip feature Senator Batson D. Belfrey! He should only be used to make toothless jokes about politics, or (occasionally) toothless jokes about alcoholism and/or man-sluttery. It irks me to find him here setting up a Generic Shoe Gag, when there are dozens of interchangeable clip-art Generic Shoe Birds that could be used for this purpose. For shame, Shoe creative team, for shame!

Luann, 8/6/10

You know, this is the sort of strip that gets me emails like “OMG Luann today OMG!” All I can say is: are Brad and Toni still not smelling each other, or at least doing so off-screen? Then everything is just fine with me, thanks. The loving depiction of Knute’s sexy shoulder blades is just icing on the cake.

Post Content

Mark Trail, 8/3/10

Well, this is a disappointment: Mark successfully rescued Sassy from her mustachioed kidnapper without even bothering to clench his fists. Now Sassy is safe and Rusty is happy and Sally and her stray dogs have a new home, but we didn’t get any pleasing cathartic violence to mark the transition to the next story. In fact, when it comes right down to it, our bad guy got off remarkably easy: sure, he didn’t get that big reward he was angling for, but he also didn’t get a fist to the face, and his original goal — to get rid of the old lady next door and her smelly collection of dogs — has actually been achieved!

The real question is: will Sally really be happy out on the farm? Sure, there’s lots of room for her pups to run and play, but it’ll be harder for her to haunt alleyways and compulsively find stray animals to hoard. Plus, once she’s out in the sticks, she can forget about getting Indian food delivered.

Beetle Bailey, 8/3/10

Considering how anachronistic most of the uniforms and equipment are in this strip, it’s fairly realistic to depict Beetle as gazing upon a fairly modern weapon (the M-249 was introduced in 1984!) with a mixture of awe and reverence. Sarge had better hope that Private Bailey doesn’t decide, once he has his hands on an actual killing machine, to turn it on his nearest tormentor — namely, Sarge himself.

Luann, 8/3/10

After last week’s Toni-smelling horror, I’ve never been more glad to see this foursome of losers and their harmless antics. Say, Knute, perhaps it would be best not to draw attention to Gunther, as he attempts to surreptitiously masturbate over by the ladies’ dressing room!