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Shoe, 8/31/06

The punchline of this joke is at once bland, hackneyed, vaguely sexist, told better elsewhere, and immediately forgettable — classic Shoe, in other words. Of more interest to the comics student is Roz’s wide-eyed, head-bobbling reaction. She looks like the Perfersser just told her that the Health Department is planning to shut her diner down because of a psittacosis outbreak, not because she’s just been fed some dumb “male birds are from Mars, female birds are from Venus” shtick. (By the way, Perfesser, girl birds have feathers, not hair.) Is she not used to this sort of lameness? How long has she been in this damn strip?

The Phantom, 8/31/06

I have to admit to being a little dissapointed with the conclusion of this Phantom storyline, with the Ghost-Who-Yuks-It-Up-With-Midgets seeming pretty blasé about allowing Chatu the Shirtless Terrorist to escape and shirtlessly terrorize another day. Now we know that, for the Phantom, the big thrill is not bringing bare-torsoed ne’er-do-wells to justice, but instead setting things up so that you can really screw with their heads a few years down the line.

Luann, 8/31/06

Hey, everybody! The Toni and Brad Show’s back! Just like we’ve all been waiting for all this time! Right? Right?

Right?

[awkward silence]

In an effort to say something nice, I’ll say this: I like the way Reddy’s eyes are cast sarcastically to the right in the first panel. I’m imagining an elaborate series of electrodes attached to Brad’s ape-like mug so that the li’l safety robot can display a full panoply of lifelike facial expressions.

Mary Worth, 8/31/06

And heeeeere comes the bludgeoning.

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Luann, 8/24/06

As noted, “couples retreat” was clearly code for “swinger’s convention”; thus, “Kamp Kouple,” which is what’s emblazoned on Mr. and Mrs. DeGroot’s t-shirts, is clearly code for “Nondescript airport hotel where we rented all the rooms for a week and paid the staff extra to look the other way while we engage in random ‘kouplings.'”

While I have too much dignity to offer “Kamp Kouple” t-shirts, thanks to the amazing graphics skills of faithful reader mon-ma-tron, you’ll be able to celebrate this year’s hottest pop culture phenomenon in garment form in short order:

I’ll make these shirts on the CafePress store when I return to Baltimore next week … but until then, this should whet your ironic-logo appetite!

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Mark Trail, 7/31/06

Is there anything more delightful than seeing Kelly Welly repeatedly throw herself in the path of killer grizzlies as part of an ill-conceived plot to advance her career and/or bed a rugged outdoorsman — any rugged outdoorsman? Well, maaybe Mark describin the situation with a sentence that would never spontaneously come out of the mouth of any under the age of 85. We could spend the rest of the summer in a continuous Kelly-does-something-foolish/gets-menaced-by-bears/gets-rescued-by-Mark-and/or-Rick/gets-yelled-at-by-Mark/makes-eyes-at-Rick-and/or-Mark loop and I would still be a happy guy.

Mary Worth, 7/31/06

Speaking of delightful: I don’t have much to say about today’s Mary Worth, except that today’s second panel might be one of the most pleasing Mary Worth panels in many a moon. The only way it could be better would be if she actually hurled her grocery bags into the air, with fruit, cinnamon, and flour flying everywhere — but still, we’ve got Mary shouting “AAUGH!” and radiating panic lines as a bow-tied Aldo Kelrast appears out of nowhere, so let’s not look gift horses in the mouth! In fact, let’s all bathe in the comforting glow of its pleasingness:

Aaaaahhhh.

Luann, 7/31/06

Just FYI, “couples retreat” is code for “swingers convention.”