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Luann, 6/16/06

No, the scandal isn’t that underage sexpots are using their feminine wiles to manipulate hot Latin hunks into doing their work for them. Look at those dishes stacked on those trays. The only time I’ve ever seen a bowl that looks like that is when Snoopy is eating out of it. That’s right, everyone: the teens of Luanntown are serving retirees big, steaming bowls of dog food, and they aren’t even bothering to put them in normal human-oriented dishes.

Pearls Before Swine, 6/16/06

DO NOT CROSS ME, PASTIS. I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!!!

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Family Circus, 4/23/06

This may be the first time ever that I’ve appreciated the Family Circus in a non-ironic fashion. Then again, this may be the first time that the Family Circus featured the aftermath of a ghastly parody of a religious sacrament that quickly descended into child-injuring violence. My favorite aspects: the discarded bible, face down in the grass, its pages no doubt scratched to ribbons by Kittycat in a desperate attempt to escape salvation; and the dripping water and anger-produced steam emanating from the aforementioned still-unsaved feline. I am a bit curious about the transistor radio — tuned to some cheesy contemporary Christian channel, no doubt. I also think that it was overkill to use the hose and the bucket and the water already in the birdbath. They really tried to baptize the hell out of that cat.

Anyway, the only way this cartoon could have been improved would have been to dress Jeffy up like Robert Mitchum’s evil preacher from Night of the Hunter.

Luann, 4/23/06

Criminey, DeGroots, this is the ghetto-ist replacement for a TiVo ever. Join the modern age, already!

This next joke, on today’s Rex Morgan, is courtesy of Mrs. C.:

You know, for someone whose parents are a doctor and a nurse, Sarah sure is sick a lot.

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Luann, 4/12/06

Um, Gunth, you are my brother in persecution and all, but I have to tell you that you aren’t a victim of guy-bashing. You’re a victim of nerd-bashing. There’s a difference.

Meanwhile, in the world of superhuman heroics:

Worry not about your fears, ordinary men and women! Spider-man is on the case!