Post Content

Apartment 3-G, 7/1/15

As we continue to wander ever deeper into the Apartment 3-G Mists Of Barely Coherent Narrative, we can count on one thing still making sense: that Lu Ann will have no idea how any aspect of the real world works. “Hi, I own a third share of this apartment, and I’m just calling my share ‘the apartment,’ and it’s in the most expensive real estate market in the country, but I’m gonna just walk away from it! Hey, you could give it to charity! Wouldn’t that be extremely useful for everyone involved, if a nonprofit just owned a third of the apartment you lived in, for some reason?”

Hagar the Horrible, 7/1/15

For too long, Hagar the Horrible has soft-pedaled what life in the Viking Age was really all about: the constant threat of being disemboweled.

Mary Worth, 7/1/15

Oh, you didn’t think that all around bad-ass Adam just used a cane as a mobility aid, did you? Nope, that’s a weapons-grade cane, son!

Mark Trail, 7/1/15

“Still growing your hair long?”
“Yes, Mark, I–”
[Mark hangs up phone]
[Mark throws phone into the lake]

Post Content

Mark Trail, 6/30/15

OK, so, that shark that Ken was all excited to catch? Well, he wasn’t going to kill it, he’s not a monster, he loves animals just like his beloved squirrel-feeding Kelly does. Ken just wanted to best the shark in combat so he’d feel like a big man, but then he was going to throw it back. That’s why it’s super disappointing that this shark he caught is already dead! This dead shark has Mark Trail written all over it, which I assume means that Ken’s going to call in Mark to solve the Mystery of the Dead Shark, which is probably going to boil down to “Hey, uh, Ken, sometimes sharks die, you know?”

Hi and Lois, 6/30/15

“How can something that seems good to me not always be good in all cases?” Trixie will be stuck in the body of a baby, which makes her halting moves towards an adult understanding of the world all the more heart-rending.

Dennis the Menace, 6/30/15

Always the smart one, Margaret recognizes that her entire universe is built out of worn-out tropes and borrowed memes. The true menace is the crushing banality of it all.

Post Content

Mark Trail, 6/19/15

It looks like this Mark Trail plot is finally swinging into gear, and our guest stars will be a couple of mismatched lovers! Ken and Kelly both get great satisfaction out of spending time with animals. Kelly likes finding adorable, helpless orphaned squirrels and raising them until they’re strong and healthy enough to survive on their own; Ken loves to go find sharks out in the water and kill them in the frenzy of blood-lust than can only come by doing battle with nature’s most perfect predator. The emotions they get out of these experiences are mostly the same.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/19/15

Kelly may be concerned that she’ll get in trouble for letting Sarah see nudity, based on the Morgans’ well-known anti-sex attitudes, but she needn’t worry: Rex and June are letting their daughter work in a museum that’s lousy with nakedness, proving that there’s a nude statue loophole in place here.