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Mark Trail, 8/22/11

And so, with “Sergeant McQueen, how is he?”/”He’s very popular in the community!”, the list of Questions And Responses In Mark Trail That Would Never, Ever Be Uttered By Humans, already prodigiously long, has gained another entry, unless there’s a lot of backstory. “He’s very popular in the community! None of those allegations have been proven, because all of the accusers mysteriously failed to show up to testify in court! Everyone loves Sergeant McQueen, and that’s the end of the story! THIS INTERVIEW IS OVER!”

Six Chix, 8/22/11

“Ha ha, seriously though, my friend has a serious medical condition called narcolepsy! Also, it’s best not to disturb her when she’s in this state, and she’s already agreed to pay the bill, so I’ll be leaving now.”

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Apartment 3-G, 8/17/11

“That’s just her style, Paul. Not liking you! Not liking people is Margo’s style.”

Beetle Bailey, 8/17/11

Fans of “Sexy Miss Buxley Wednesday” are no doubt disappointed to find this week that it’s overlapped with “The depressing moment when the veil is torn away and we can see the full-on awful extent of General Halftrack’s alcoholism and self-loathing, a moment that can happen any day of the week without warning.”

B.C., 8/17/11

Ha ha, it’s funny because the turtle’s shell is covered with a toxic chemical that will eventually seep into his bloodstream and kill him!

Mark Trail, 8/17/11

OK, so we want to focus on Kelly’s eyes, so we can get a sense of the sexy plotting going on in her mind … closer … closer … AUGGGGH TOO CLOSE ABORT ABORT ABORT

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Mary Worth, 8/15/11

The comics have presented us with many wonderful images today, but none are more delightful than young Gina and her boyfriend taking in the world’s most wholesome skateboard kid and his ludicrously clean-cut cheering section. “Look, Gina!” Bobby’s saying in panel two. “This guy’s doing some awesome tricks, and yet he’s wearing khaki shorts and has neatly parted hair! Have you ever seen the like?”

Gil Thorp, 8/15/11

This is the kind of sensitivity that makes it so easy for Gil to really connect with his young students. “So, Kenny, I hear your mom’s a lush! What’s up with that?”

Apartment 3-G, 8/15/11

Oh my goodness, it looks like Lu Ann is going to join Luann in teaching the kids today about the importance of resisting sexual pressure — only in this scenario, it’s Lu Ann who’s the insatiable lust-monster and her boyfriend who’s saving himself for … when he’s older? Like, how much older? Because I’m pretty much assuming he’s about 35 now, based on appearances. I guess he’s saving himself for marriage, unlike that harlot Lu Ann, who, just look at that face in panel three that’s supposed to be “crazed with desire,” it’s almost as hilarious as the skateboard kid in Mary Worth.

Panel from Mark Trail, 8/15/11

Mark Trail strips often seem to be pieced together out of pre-existing bits of art, and today’s first panel is probably a good example. “That was a good story you did about the mountain man!” That could be the summary about every fifth Trail storyline for the past thirty years.

The Phantom, 8/15/11

Meanwhile, the Phantom is getting satellite TV. ACTION! ADVENTURE!