Post Content

OK, so here is my excuse as to why I was late with the first few days of this week’s comics, which is that I was in scenic Orlando, Florida. While in America’s #1 Central Florida tourist destination, I stopped by the Universal Islands of Adventure, and while maybe I was mostly interested in Harry-Potter-related activities, I was also keenly aware, thanks to a steady trickle of photos sent to me by faithful readers over the years, that there was a real live Mark Trail diorama to be found. And when I spotted it, it was all I had hoped and dreamed of … and more!

Yes, here we have Mark and Billy Keane interacting, for some reason! And what the pictures I had seen couldn’t convey was the fact that this display has an audio component as well! As I stood nearby and pretended to menace Mark with my feeble fist, his soothing voice was piped in from a speaker above his head, informing us that he works for Woods and Wildlife Magazine and loved nature. For reasons I cannot comprehend, Mark is the only character in the whole Toon Lagoon area who gets to speak! Do you think that any of that makes sense to anyone who visits the park, other than the soap opera strip obsessives who read this blog?

There were other characters on display there, and a weird grab-bag they were. They certainly weren’t the most popular characters, but they also weren’t from any one comics syndicate, which means we can rule out corporate synergy as a basis for the character choices. For instance, there’s this Shoe display! Kids love Shoe, right?

You also have the opportunity to stand directly under Marvin’s no-doubt poop-filled diaper:

And you can get some ice cream, if you aren’t scared off by Cathy’s looming crotch.

In summary, the Toon Lagoon section of the Islands of Adventure is a good place to spend a few minutes of ironic bafflement before moving on to actually fun parts of the park. (Although the Dudley Do-Right log flume ride is pretty great. I had forgot how completely pun-tastic that show was!)

Post Content

Ziggy, 9/6/11

What really makes today’s Ziggy work (and there’s a series of words I’ll bet you never expected to see in that order) are the facial expressions on our two dramatis personae. This could be yet another dumb cartoon about Twitter written by someone who’s heard about, but never actually used, Twitter, but I’m drawn in by how manic and excited Ziggy looks as he scribbles in his diary, along with the look of genuine distress on the face of his parrot (who is named Josh, by the way, and yes, it disturbs me both that Ziggy’s parrot is named Josh and that I know that Ziggy’s parrot is named Josh). What juicy tidbits might Ziggy unleash on the world, via Twitter? Is Josh unsettled by the thought that Ziggy might reveal his deepest parrot-secrets on various social networking sites? Or does just he just know that Ziggy’s innermost thoughts are repugnant to all right-thinking people and should never, ever see the light of day? Anyway, he needn’t worry, as Ziggy isn’t allowed to have an Internet connection, because of the court order.

Mark Trail, 9/6/11

OH SNAP SGT. MCQUEEN IS IN ON THE BIRD-BANDING CONSPIRACY! “I knew this day would come … the day when my pointless, incomprehensible actions would lead to the very mild negative consequences that only exist in my fantasy world. Princess, deliver this message for me … you know where to go … no, Princess! Don’t eat it! Damn you, dog, don’t pretend you don’t understand complex English sentences! Why would I spend so much time talking to you if you don’t?”

Post Content

Mark Trail, 9/5/11

It’s always worthwhile every once in a while to check in and note how thoroughly removed from reality the motivations and behavior of every single human being in Mark Trail are. First off, our Mountie is worried about an influx of tourism into this remote valley. Now, it’s true that such concerns are legitimate, but it’s also true that isolated communities are falling behind economically, and generally officials of the national government — such as members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police — are always looking for ways to bring tourism dollars in from the outside.

So, that’s neither here nor there. But a million bazillion times more insane is the idea that this flood of flashy big-city tourists will be drawn by … news that one or two geese were found with biblical verses printed on bands around their legs? This concept doesn’t exactly have the same drawing power as, say, a water park, or a casino/concert venue. And even if you take the entire set of people who might be intrigued by the idea of an aggressive, honking bird bearing a tiny gold band engraved with a Bible verse, you have to question how many of them are going to fly out to the middle of nowhere so that they have the chance to tramp around the woods looking for said geese. Now, if you had a water park, or a casino/concert venue, where the geese with Bible verses on their legs were collected in a nice habitat where you could go look at them in comfort, that might bring in some tourist dollars.

Or, hell, what do I know? Bible geese hold no interest for me, so how can I try to predict the motivations of the target audience here? Maybe for your average Bible-goose nut, wandering around the forest with a pair of binoculars, hoping to catch that golden glint that you just know has a citation from Genesis on it somewhere, maybe that’s the whole point of making the trip in the first place. Maybe the idea of a cage full of sad geese with grubby little Bible bands on their legs, which you’d stop to gawk at for a few minutes while walking from the casino floor to the amphitheater on your way to catch Tony Danza’s fantastic one-man show Extravadanza, would just fill you with contempt for the way that the proud tradition of Bible-banding geese has been commercialized.

Anyway, long story short, the fact that Officer McQueen is very seriously discussing all this with his dog Princess is really the least of the problems with this strip.

Herb and Jamaal, 9/5/11

Ha ha, joke’s on you, Herb! Your children have never seen one of your old-fogey “CDs” in their lives.

Apartment 3-G, 9/5/11

I feel compelled to point out that Paul and Lu Ann are nowhere near anything resembling a porch swing in today’s Apartment 3-G strip.