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Archive: Marmaduke

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The meddling … BEGINS

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Mary Worth, 12/15/10

It’s obviously a delight to see Jill sitting on the curb, idly sucking on a wine bottle and wearing what might be called “fuck-me boots” if they weren’t the same hideous shade of purple as her dress. And it’s all good fun to hear her loudly proclaim that she belongs in the gutter. But still, this strip is tinged in melancholy for me, because it clearly represents the first stage in the de-awesomeing of Jill at Mary’s hands. We already know the answer to the core question here — we know that Jill will have her faith in state-sanctioned heterosexual monogamy forcibly restored, and she’ll also swear off booze forever — and now the only suspense remaining is to see if Mary can meddle her back to righteousness in time for Adrian’s wedding tomorrow. If a smiling, bright-eyed Jill catches the bouquet — and the eye of a handsome groomsman — do not be surprised. Be saddened, but not surprised.

Crankshaft, 12/15/10

Oh, look, the supporting cast of Crankshaft is talking about Crankshaft’s genitals, or his prostate, or possibly his lower GI tract! I’m glad to see that this conversation brings sly smiles to everyone’s face, rather than causing them to die inside as one might expect.

Marmaduke, 12/15/10

Actually, now that Marmaduke has killed and eaten Santa, the holiday season has ended rather abruptly.

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Monday quickies of filth

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Marvin, 11/1/10

Here is today’s Marvin! It is about how the title character, who is the world’s worst baby, takes pride in the fact that he sits around in his own mess, and thinks that anyone who takes the effort to control their various lower sphincters until they can dispose of their bodily wastes in a sanitary fashion is a sucker. Marvin disgusts me, if you can’t tell!

Shoe, 11/1/10

And yet my immediate thought when reading today’s Shoe was “Ha ha, that momma bird is exhausted because she spent the night barfing whatever greasy food she eats at Roz’s diner into her baby’s mouth! Yet the strip would never dare mention such a thing, despite its ostensible bird-based premise.” These contrasting reactions prove that I am hard to please, and also gross.

Marmaduke, 11/1/10

OH GOD HE HAS THE POWER OF FLIGHT NOW NONE OF US ARE SAFE

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Friday quickies

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Marmaduke, 10/8/10

Local authorities and various torch-wielding vigilante mobs have, when faced with the horror that is Marmaduke, often demanded that KILL IT OH MY GOD KILL IT’S A MONSTER KILL IT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. But the governor’s team of top scientific advisors have determined that attempting to “kill” Marmaduke will only cut his tenuous connection to a mortal, physical form, transforming him into a malevolent, destructive force of pure energy that can not be stopped or contained. Thus the executive orders to maintain the admittedly terrifying status quo.

Dick Tracy, 10/8/10

Oh my God, Dick Tracy has stumbled onto a cadre of Communist hobos! This makes the hobo-eradication program he conducts in his off hours totally justified, retroactively!

Funky Winkerbrean, 10/8/10

“What I’m trying to say is, if you manage to suppress your wholly baffling attraction to him, you won’t be turning your back on the troops and God and America and freedom. He’s just a drunk with really bad luck! Wanna see my stump? The stump that WALLY MADE?”