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Tuesday is for oldsters

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/18/23

Oh no, Hank Jr. must either give in to that nagging feeling he has about “Dr. Mirakle” and follow that thread no matter how far it goes or what kind of seedy underworld of fraud and violence it takes him to, or he could forget all about it and go back to his cabin and fool around with his wife. Sounds like a tough choice, I know, but keep in mind that if he “solves” the Dr. Mirakle caper, absolutely nobody will give a shit, so clearly that’s the route he’s going to take.

Marvin, 4/18/23

Every once in a while they make an “old guys doing crimes” movie with beloved older actors, like Tough Guys (1986, Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas) or Going In Style (2017, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, and Alan Arkin), along with probably some other ones in the intervening 30 years that I’m forgetting. These movies are never really big hits but there’s a built-in audience, which is to say old people, and since old people are also the most important audience for newspaper comics, Marvin could definitely do worse than have a whole subplot where Roy and Bernie’s new friend Earl pulls them into a life of crime, providing a kind of thrill in their later years that they thought they’d never recapture. Or, you know, the strip could instead have one joke about a guy who can’t stop wearing a ski mask, ha ha, then it’s right back into the poop jokes.

Mary Worth, 4/18/23

Dr. Ed is out here proving that you don’t have to follow annoying technicalities like “labor law” when you GOT THAT GOOD DICK

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Can’t believe they’re trapped on a boat with that guy

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/21/23

Ha ha, I was right, this cruise is going to get a healthy dose of Mud Mountain’s musical scheming! I’m taking “privy” in that last word balloon as foreshadowing: there’s absolutely going to be a poop angle on this storyline as well.

Marvin, 3/21/23

Surprisingly, there isn’t a poop angle to today’s Marvin, because the strip’s going to its other typical humor source: the fact that the characters all hold each other in contempt. Hey there, generic office coworker supporting character, if you’re unsettled by this revelation, how do you think I feel, now that I know that I’m a full 13 years older than this beaten down, combovered, comics dad dweeb?

Gil Thorp, 3/21/23

You know, back in the early days of my reading this strip, if an elderly, bald African-American man showed up on the Milford campus to offer free advice to the student-athletes, he would be named Clambake and his stories about having played in the Negro Leagues would turn out to be made up. You have to admit, this is a significant upgrade that I’m not sure the Milford teens deserve.

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TGIF, fellow office drones!!!!

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Marvin, 3/17/23

Most people would tell you that Marvin’s main innovation is that it’s a newspaper comic strip that’s mostly about peeing and pooping, but let’s not forget that it’s also about a whole family — three generations of people, plus pets — who simply do not like one another and would abandon one another for a better offer at the drop of a hat.

The Lockhorns, 3/17/23

I think we can all agree that Leroy is a fairly unpleasant person generally, and so I’ve always assumed that his coworkers spend as little time interacting with him as possible, which probably goes a long way towards explaining his perennial lack of professional success. This is probably the most attention any of them have ever paid to him, which no doubt makes the whole experience sting all the more.

Blondie, 3/17/23

I like that this guy just takes it as a given that, even in his own internal mindscape, Dagwood would not be smart or resourceful enough to escape from a leprechaun on his own initiative.