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Archive: Marvin

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I can’t imagine Ed Crankshaft watching a movie made in the last ten years. Seems very wrong

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Crankshaft, 10/26/25

Mr. Crankshaft, I know Dagwood Bumstead. Dagwood Bumstead is a friend of mine. He puts together comically large foodstuffs that no ordinary human could even get their mouth around, let alone chew. Those are just normal-ass pastries you bought at a gas station. Mr. Crankshaft, you’re no Dagwood Bumstead.

Pardon My Planet, 10/26/25

I love the contrast between the blond guy at the bar and the bartender as this strip’s beloved (?) Bitter Late-Middle-Aged Man unloads a monologue that’s dark even by Pardon My Planet standards. The young man sees how grim this is and is genuinely disturbed; the bartender, who spends his existence serving up brain-numbing hooch to the hateful drunks who populate the PMPiverse, has long ago become numb to this sort of thing.

Marvin, 10/26/25

“Hello neighbors! I want to offer you nothing but love and compassion. Anyway, it’s come to my attention that some of you are leaving the hallways smeared with feces.” Perfect Marvin strip, no notes.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/26/25

Writing a syndicated newspaper comic strip is of course a great way to write off the cost of a cruise on your taxes as “research,” but remember, you don’t always have to aim so high. Do you want to draw an almost perfectly realistic plate of delicious pad thai? Well then, you’d have to order some delicious pad thai, wouldn’t you? You know, for professional reasons! It sure does look great, doesn’t it, Augie? Just like the real thing!

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Thursday fast takes

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Marvin, 10/16/25

Lately, when I bring up Marvin as an example of a strip that loves talking about peeing and pooping, some people in the comments will try to gaslight me about it, claiming the strip really hasn’t done much by way of toilet humor since 2023 or so. Well, look at this! Bitsy the dog is like, “I love to defecate and I want to do more of it,” and that’s the punchline! Don’t try to deny what I can see with my own eyes!

Mary Worth, 10/16/25

Have you enjoyed the last 87 years of “Mary Worth meddles gently in the lives of her friends and acquaintances?” Well, that’s over now. Get ready for “Mary Worth has an unshakeable belief that many people are capable of ESP, and has a new mission to find them and Awaken the Gift inside them.”

Dustin, 10/16/25

Meg, this is no time to crack wise! Your brother has experienced a serious head injury and appears to be in some distress!

Archie, 10/16/25

Sorry, Dilton, I’m going to be straight with you: put the glasses back on. You don’t look very good at all without them! Don’t give in to peer pressure!

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Does he think she can buy her own plane tickets or what

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Mary Worth, 9/7/25

I myself am not a parent and don’t presume to fully understand how they have to balance between fiercely protecting their children and also allowing them autonomy to follow their own goals and desires. Would I let my tween daughter travel across the country with some nice old lady who used to be my neighbor? I could see good reasons for going either way, but I’ll tell you one thing: I would definitely nail down whether this trip is one week or two before I signed off on it. That’s just common sense! Especially since her mother and I would be using her absence as an opportunity to have sex more often, I’d want to know when she’s coming back. She probably has a key and could just let herself in the apartment!

Beetle Bailey, 9/7/25

Joshreads dot com oldheads remember that years ago Lt. Fuzz turning blue was a coloring error and a sign of declining standards at the syndicate. Today, Sgt. Snorkel turning blue is a joke about how he’d rather suffer self-induced hypoxia and the resulting brain damage than simply deal with his commanding officer in a mature and respectful manner, and a sign of an entirely different kind of declining standards at the syndicate.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 9/7/25

There are tons of Lockhorns jokes about Leroy drunkenly flirting with blondes twice as tall as he is, so I’m glad the strip is finally acknowledging that Loretta, too, is sometimes horny. Her little quip doesn’t exactly make sense — is she saying that she’s going to commit this man’s rippling, muscular bod to memory so she can revisit it over and over again in her mind palace? — but it’s a good first step.

Marvin, 9/7/25

Wait, this robot yearns to play with Marvin and is overjoyed at the prospect of it? The AI haters are right, this is an evil technology that must be stopped now.