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Marvin, 10/13/22

Well, Marvin’s been at it for 40 years now, with the “it” that it’s been “at” mostly consisting of poop/piss jokes about the title character, but also sometimes about the old people, dogs, and even passing birds in his life, but we’re finally reaching the final frontier of excretory narratives and getting into Jeff and Jenny’s bathroom situation. Specifically, we’re getting a week’s worth of “jokes” about how Jenny wants to get a bidet installed. I particularly enjoy her sly look in the final panel. “Padding out a list of things to talk about related to shitting until it’s not interesting anymore? That’s the syndicated comic strip Marvin’s turf, am I right, folks?”

Judge Parker, 10/13/22

“She doesn’t really know Steve particularly well or anything; we’re just at the stage of our divorce where I text her ‘thinking of you!’ and then send graphic crime scene photos.”

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Marvin, 9/20/22

You know I am loath to say anything positive about the syndicated comic strip Marvin, but I have to say that I’m reasonably impressed that the strip is acknowledging that someone who is the parent of an infant and still in the early-to-mid stages of male pattern baldness is not, in fact, of an age to have attended Woodstock, or even Woodstock ’99, but rather would be one of those darn millennials we hear so much about on the news these days. By giving her husband’s exact age, Jenny really opens up a lot of information about his personality. Like, we’ve confirmed that, assuming we’re not dealing with some kind of Doogie Howser situation (and based on his demonstrate intellectual capabilities, I have zero reason to believe that we are), Jeff was in college at the earliest from 2005 to 2009, a full five years after “Who Let The Dogs Out” was released and a full four years and nine months after it had entirely worn out its welcome with literally everyone, meaning that he put it on that college mix CD as an ironic bit. He’s always been terrible, in other words, as further demonstrated by the fact that he’s now buying a turntable just so he can recreate that bit, which would’ve probably been only mildly annoying to the people in his dorm, for his family, who will absolutely hate him for it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/20/22

Think about the stuff that we actually see in Rex Morgan, M.D. Can you imagine how boring this dude’s “story” must’ve been to just be completely elided between today’s strip and yesterday’s? Dude’s been grievously insulted by the narrative structure he’s embedded within, and he’ll never even know it.

The Lockhorns, 9/20/22

God damn it, Leroy is an obsessive Jets fan, not a Giant’s fan. Do I have to be the unpaid keeper of the lore for all of these strips now???

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/19/22

Say what you will about the glacial pacing and low stakes of Rex Morgan, M.D., but the art in today’s strip really nails the facial expression any of us would have if a chatty stranger’s opening gambit on a multi-hour flight was “Wow, I’m sure sittin’ a lot closer to you that any of use would like, huh????” Unfortunately I fear the rest of the week will continue with this narrative vérité and really make us feel every moment of a conversation we don’t want to have but can’t escape.

Mary Worth, 9/19/22

Oh, you say you’re sick of strips about Dawn’s love life? How about strips about Mary and Jeff’s love life, huh? How about that? I actually do prefer these kinds of strips because whenever we revisit this couple’s relationship status, it’s always because Jeff is abruptly leaving town to fix cleft palates in developing countries or Mary is rejecting Jeff’s marriage proposals, so I say: BRING IT ON.

Marvin, 9/19/22

Wow, big news! The comic strip Marvin has finally come up with a recurring character trait for Jeff beyond “hates his son” and “hates his in-laws” and “not a big fan of his wife,” and it’s “loves the Baja Men.”