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Mary Worth, 8/14/25

Never one for subtlety, Mary Worth foreshadows by planting an actual red flag.

Mark Trail, 8/14/25

That gator is really excited at the prospect of a new pond! Meanwhile, Mark shoves a bush aside to clear the gator’s path. Not quite Fists of Justice™ territory, but at least macho-heroics-adjacent.

Zits, 8/14/25

There is no evidence that sulfurous smells repel bears, and Jeremy scrupulously avoids contact with ammonia, bleach, and other cleaning agents that do. Sorry, Hector, that tent is looking flimsier by the moment.

Family Circus, 8/14/25

Jeff Keane’s tax auditor, probably: “Mr. Keane, the IRS is known for its generosity in granting tax exemptions for creative professionals such as yourself, but are you really going to go with ‘How can I draw the Golden Gate Bridge without taking my family to San Francisco for a week?’ Frankly, I’m still getting grief about that Crankshaft determination.”

Gearhead Gertie, 8/14/25

“You mean that movie starring a charismatic and attractive male lead in a high-stakes drama with a ‘rookie vs. veteran’ dynamic that depicts a growing bond between former rivals, with authentic racing sequences, behind-the-scenes explorations of racing culture, and an iconic romantic interlude, led by a director associated with the Top Gun series? Sure, here’s a ticket to F1: The Movie!”

Gertie turns it down because the cars look different. Stupid Genie.

—Uncle Lumpy

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Dick Tracy, 8/11/25

Sam, Lizz, and Lee are searching the apartment of loan shark Sphyrna, murdered by tech whiz Theresa Lakoyle with her glowing gun. Yesterday, Sam bet Lee a week of sandwiches that he would find key evidence in two minutes, and here he does. In the toilet. It makes him so damn happy; just look at that grin. Please don’t anybody tell him why he always gets toilet duty.

Alice, 8/11/25

Lady, you took your brain out of your head and handed it to Boyfriend there. Little analysis is required.

Mary Worth, 8/11/25

“Olive, you’re leaning hard into this ‘I am so unusual’ bit; maybe give it a rest for a while and see how that works out?” said Mary Worth, never.

Judge Parker, 8/11/25

“Everyone to the couch. Now. The psychiatrist‘s couch, because you people are nuts.”

—Uncle Lumpy

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Family Circus, 8/8/25

The whole gimmick of “NOT ME” is that the Keane Kids say “not me!” when confronted with naughty things that they have, in fact, done. Depicting him as an actual ghost-demon tormenting Big Daddy Keane while all four of the kids are fully visible and doing other things is 100% evidence that somehow the Family Circus has, against all odds, lost the plot.

Mary Worth, 8/8/25

You might recall that the climax of the original Olive story was that Mary saved the lass from drowning, and she’s frankly been chasing that high ever since. Olive may have since taken swimming lessons, but panel two has made it clear that Mary has been Googling “new york area beaches with rip currents” because she knows she needs to up her game.

B.C., 8/8/25

Big Monogamy has clearly decided that the best way to keep polyamory out of the mainstream is by messaging in syndicated newspaper comic strips, so, uh, I guess get used to keeping track of your various partners in an elaborate Google Docs spreadsheet, everybody!