Archive: Mary Worth

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Mary Worth, 5/19/21

“I certainly would not have formed a romantic liaison with this family had I known about the lapses in judgement lurking in your bloodline!” [throws on life jacket, pinches nose, pitches backwards out of the boat and into the sea]

Gil Thorp, 5/19/21

You ever think that the staff of the Milford Star, a non-student newspaper produced and read by adults, are a little too up-to-date on what the local teenagers are up to?

Pluggers, 5/19/21

Sure, it would make a plugger’s life easier in some ways if he allowed himself to form professional or personal relationships with people with non-Anglo-Saxon surnames. But a man has to have a code, you know?

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 5/19/21

DAMN IT THIS JOKE DOESN’T WORK IF WE CAN’T SEE INSIDE THE CAVE

IT COULD BE REAL NICE IN THERE

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Mary Worth, 5/18/21

Look, I don’t ask for much in this life, and maybe I’m being greedy for wanting anything beyond Jeff hearing Mary’s story and reacting with “Whoa, sounds like a real psycho! She was a looker, right?” But I truly want the rest of this week to consist of Jeff describing in graphic detail all the hot crazy girls who stop by Chez Cory and have loud sex with Drew upstairs why Jeff enjoys a hearty bowl of stew down in the kitchen, chuckling softly to himself.

Sam and Silo, 5/18/21

Ah, remember Sam and Silo, the low-stakes strip about two incompetent small-town cops? Well, I regret to inform you that Sam and Silo have launched a violent coup against the town’s legitimate elected government.

Hi and Lois, 5/18/21

Congrats to Hi and Lois for coming up with an extremely wholesome act of badass rebellion for its protagonist to throw in the face of his cruel boss, I guess?

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Mary Worth, 5/15/21

When’s the last time Mary had the mission of actually nipping a relationship in the bud? I don’t know if she ever has! Once, long ago, a lady confessed to Mary she was thinking of pursuing a married old flame and Mary was like “Sure, go for it.” I guess there was the case of Estelle and Arthur Z, but that turned out to be a catfish so I don’t know if it counts. But Dr. Drew is too close to home, literally, in that he’s Mary’s boyfriend’s son who also seems to live with him, and Mary definitely doesn’t want to have to interact with his unpleasant new “friend” when she drops by to deliver an enormous bowl of stew, so it looks like it’s time to cut Ashlee off at the pass! She’s going to work up to the big task ahead by ostracizing whoever’s coffee just got put at the far corner of her tray in panel two there. Sorry for the emotional trauma, dear, but Mary has to get limber!

Family Circus, 5/15/21

Look, Jeffy, the rule of the Keane Kompound is that if you ask whose tiny grave Daddy is digging, the next tiny grave will be for you.

Pluggers, 5/15/21

Physically exhausted? Clinically depressed? Pluggers know you don’t have to choose!