Archive: Mary Worth

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Panel from The Lockhorns, 6/29/25

One of the great mysteries of The Lockhorns that haunts all of us Lockheads is the identity and nature of the non-Lockhorn people who make occasional appearances in the strip. They never have any dialogue, instead just staring dumbly at our title duo as they engage in their passive-aggressive antics, and generally are not, with the exception of a few medical professionals and Leroy’s bartender, recurring characters. And yet we must assume a certain degree of intimacy has somehow developed before we see the vignettes in which the strangers appear, because often they’re in the Lockhorn home! I suppose we can guess at what drives their interest in seeing the inner workings of this hell-couple’s dynamics. For instance, this lady no doubt wonders if the rumors are true: does this seemingly anti-intellectual downwardly mobile lower-middle-class suburbanite pair really enjoy playing chess at home? And does Leroy really lurch about in a grotesque parody of a victory dance when he wins? Still and all, now that her curiosity has been sated, the visitor won’t be back. For most people, a little of this goes a long way.

Mary Worth, 6/29/25

On the one hand, Wilbur’s glad Belle is once again being heavily medicated by her brother, who looks exactly like him but taller. On the other hand, he still wants to grab a last-minute ticket on Spirit Airlines and jet over to Florida and have sex with her. Is this normal, Mary??? Oh, wait, you’re saying it is normal? I, uh, did not expect that, and frankly don’t really like it.

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Beetle Bailey, 6/24/25

One of my favorite bits of actual Beetle Bailey character evolution over the past few years is Zero going from being a friendly but very stupid farm boy to being a friendly but very stupid farm boy who is also a highly skilled killing machine. Anyway, I obviously really enjoy this strip, in which Zero grins dumbly at the collection of shells he’s amassed. He seems unaware that each of those shells, the byproduct of his expert marksmanship, is the harbinger of one or more awful deaths, but Beetle and Killer know, and are profoundly unsettled.

Herb and Jamaal, 6/24/25

Herb, why are you looking so smug? One of your regulars is complaining that you’re using substandard meat in your tacos! Or maybe using chicken when you advertised beef! The “foul”/”fowl” joke only works in writing, so I’m not really sure whether it’s coming across here! At any rate, you’ve got an unhappy customer and I’m not sure what you think is so darn funny about it!

Mary Worth, 6/24/25

“Her brother seems to be taking care of her … at least that’s the impression I got in the approximately 45 seconds it took for him to lure her out of my apartment. Do you think I should, like, send an email to see how that whole thing is going?”

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Six Chix, 6/19/25

Remember kids, the daily comics aren’t just for laffs; they also can provide important safety information. For instance, have you ever wondered if it was possible to turn your ankle while wearing Uggs? Well, the answer: is yes. It’s also possible to do so while wearing Crocs, which is what I’m reasonably sure we’re looking at in this cartoon.

Family Circus, 6/19/25

Over the years of doing this blog, I’ve slowly changed my position on the Family Circus children from “God, the Keane Kids are annoying” to “Haha, the Keane Kids are annoying, and that is in fact the joke in the Family Circus most days.” I’m really enjoying Big Daddy Keane’s facial expression in this one. “Well, that’s one fewer college savings fund we’re going to need,” he’s thinking.

Mary Worth, 6/19/25

“Yes, Mary, it’s true that Belle tried to turn me into goo from the inside with a powerful liquid solvent, but have you considered the fact that Wilbur is no longer getting laid on the regular? Who’s the real victim here?”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 6/19/25

“I know a good doctor, but he doesn’t like it when you make him do medical stuff, so I don’t want to bug him about it. I’m sure whatever private equity fund paid 23 And Me’s creditors pennies on the dollar for rights to use the company’s branding won’t steer us wrong in any legally actionable sense!”

Blondie, 6/19/25

Big news, everybody: Blondie and Dagwood are getting a divorce. It’s been a long and winding road for these two in more than 90 years of marriage, and I think I speak for everyone in wishing them and their children the best during this difficult time.