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Dick Tracy, 8/11/25

Sam, Lizz, and Lee are searching the apartment of loan shark Sphyrna, murdered by tech whiz Theresa Lakoyle with her glowing gun. Yesterday, Sam bet Lee a week of sandwiches that he would find key evidence in two minutes, and here he does. In the toilet. It makes him so damn happy; just look at that grin. Please don’t anybody tell him why he always gets toilet duty.

Alice, 8/11/25

Lady, you took your brain out of your head and handed it to Boyfriend there. Little analysis is required.

Mary Worth, 8/11/25

“Olive, you’re leaning hard into this ‘I am so unusual’ bit; maybe give it a rest for a while and see how that works out?” said Mary Worth, never.

Judge Parker, 8/11/25

“Everyone to the couch. Now. The psychiatrist‘s couch, because you people are nuts.”

—Uncle Lumpy

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Family Circus, 8/8/25

The whole gimmick of “NOT ME” is that the Keane Kids say “not me!” when confronted with naughty things that they have, in fact, done. Depicting him as an actual ghost-demon tormenting Big Daddy Keane while all four of the kids are fully visible and doing other things is 100% evidence that somehow the Family Circus has, against all odds, lost the plot.

Mary Worth, 8/8/25

You might recall that the climax of the original Olive story was that Mary saved the lass from drowning, and she’s frankly been chasing that high ever since. Olive may have since taken swimming lessons, but panel two has made it clear that Mary has been Googling “new york area beaches with rip currents” because she knows she needs to up her game.

B.C., 8/8/25

Big Monogamy has clearly decided that the best way to keep polyamory out of the mainstream is by messaging in syndicated newspaper comic strips, so, uh, I guess get used to keeping track of your various partners in an elaborate Google Docs spreadsheet, everybody!

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Mary Worth, 8/2/25

Not sure what’s funnier here: That Olive says it’s hard to “ignore the critics,” as if there’s a Yelp category specifically for tweens and Olive has received a series of 1- and 2-star reviews referring to her as “weird” and “subpar” and “is she psychic or what, I don’t get it, she hints at it a lot but mostly doesn’t do any cool stuff,” or that Mary urges her to “keep on shining,” as if she were vaguely aware that there’s a book and a movie about a little psychic kid called The Shining that she’s never seen but it sounds like such a pleasant and optimistic title that she assumes everything works out pretty well for him.

Hi and Lois, 8/2/25

“What this beach needs is fewer little kids coming up and talking to you,” the lifeguard thinks. “I should make a sign telling them not to do it.”

Gil Thorp, 8/2/25

Ha ha, Gil is totally sanguine about the possibility of his ex-wife taking a job as AD at his hated rival school! It’s all good! Holding a big cup of lemonade at the top in a vice grip where it looks like you’re going to crush it with your bare hand is normal and a sign that you’re just relaxing and having fun, actually!