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The Lockhorns, 9/8/25

Now, one of Loretta’s running gripes with Leroy is that he doesn’t make enough money for her tastes, so we can be certain that her shoe spending allowance could not have been the difference between profitability and insolvency for this store. We must assume that this is Leroy doing yet another bit as part of their long-running marital conflict. Not sure if we’re meant to understand that she’s just off-panel, seething, or if she’s not even there and he’s just doing what needs to be done to make sure there’s a baseline level of anti-Loretta sentiment in the community.

Andy Capp, 9/8/25

Are you, an American, worried that you’ll attend a snooker tournament at some point in the future and you won’t be up on the lingo? Fear not: thanks to Andy Capp, you now know that you can casually say to a companion, about someone doing well, “Boy, he [or she, I assume women are allowed to play snooker] can sure pot those balls!” The comics really are a source of cultural enrichment and must be protected as a medium, possibly with a generous government subsidy.

Mary Worth, 9/8/25

“I too would enjoy the trip, but not so much that I’m going to make up any kind of specific reason why I can’t go. See you whenever!”

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Mary Worth, 9/7/25

I myself am not a parent and don’t presume to fully understand how they have to balance between fiercely protecting their children and also allowing them autonomy to follow their own goals and desires. Would I let my tween daughter travel across the country with some nice old lady who used to be my neighbor? I could see good reasons for going either way, but I’ll tell you one thing: I would definitely nail down whether this trip is one week or two before I signed off on it. That’s just common sense! Especially since her mother and I would be using her absence as an opportunity to have sex more often, I’d want to know when she’s coming back. She probably has a key and could just let herself in the apartment!

Beetle Bailey, 9/7/25

Joshreads dot com oldheads remember that years ago Lt. Fuzz turning blue was a coloring error and a sign of declining standards at the syndicate. Today, Sgt. Snorkel turning blue is a joke about how he’d rather suffer self-induced hypoxia and the resulting brain damage than simply deal with his commanding officer in a mature and respectful manner, and a sign of an entirely different kind of declining standards at the syndicate.

Panel from The Lockhorns, 9/7/25

There are tons of Lockhorns jokes about Leroy drunkenly flirting with blondes twice as tall as he is, so I’m glad the strip is finally acknowledging that Loretta, too, is sometimes horny. Her little quip doesn’t exactly make sense — is she saying that she’s going to commit this man’s rippling, muscular bod to memory so she can revisit it over and over again in her mind palace? — but it’s a good first step.

Marvin, 9/7/25

Wait, this robot yearns to play with Marvin and is overjoyed at the prospect of it? The AI haters are right, this is an evil technology that must be stopped now.

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Hagar the Horrible, 9/5/25

Real Hagar heads know that Hagar is illiterate, and while Lucky Eddie also was at one point, he later learned to read and write. I suppose it’s possible that he was inspired to learn languages beyond his native Norse — Greek, for instance, which would be useful for reading the scriptures of the new religion from the south, and which he could pick up from Swedish kinsmen who served in the Varangian Guard in Constantinople. This knowledge may have led him to see that streak of light in the sky and dub it asteroeidēs, or “star-like.” Unfortunately, 18th century astronomer William Herschel will ultimately get the credit for coining the term, because the only person to hear Eddie say it was Hagar, and he said it right before they were both vaporized.

Six Chix, 9/5/25

OK, fine, I’ve said my piece about how most comics really lay too hard on the relationship between dogs and fire hydrants, but to their credit, at least they know what that relationship is (it’s pissing). Today’s Six Chix, on the other hand … have they watched Doctor Who? I guess you don’t draw this detailed a version of the 11th Doctor in dog form, and of his TARDIS in fire hydrant form, without having watched some Doctor Who. I myself have watched quite a bit of Doctor Who, and before today I would’ve said that the Doctor did not as a rule piss on his TARDIS, but now I admit I’m starting to doubt myself.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/5/25

Really loving Cody’s facial expression in the last panel here. “Hey, man, you can say that, but I know I was just kind of pushing on his chest imitating what I’ve seen on TV, probably inaccurately. The paramedics saved him, it’s OK to say so. No need to be condescending.”

Mary Worth, 9/5/25

“I learned that John Singer Sargent was part of a cosmopolitan milieu, traveling between the great world capitals and painting society’s elite! I want a comparable experience, which is why I want to go with this old lady to her ghastly mid-century condo complex in exurban Southern California for a week.”