Post Content

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/13/25

Oh, a thing I forgot to tell you about that happened in Rex Morgan, M.D., is that Summer managed to track down other people her stalker had stalked, and messaged one of them on Facebook while Augie was checking the perimeter. Apparently that lady, “Debra,” is dead (from … stalking?) or at least no longer in charge of her phone, and her … widower? … has it, and he got the message, which led him across town to confront the stalker … with a gun. A gun that shoots booze and pills straight into your bloodstream, I guess!

Mary Worth, 4/13/25

Hey, remember that time that Wilbur was having a fantasy about being a superhero, but actually he was having a series of wacky, clumsy misadventures while lost in his fantasy, but actually he saved a guy from getting killed, so maybe the superhero thing wasn’t a fantasy, after all? Well, I guess we’re seeing something similar here, with Wilbur saving Dawn from that poisoned tea in the process of reaching across the table for no readily apparently reason. Unless … he knows that the tea is poisoned, and just hasn’t said anything because he’s hoping to get laid a couple times before he calls the cops on his murderous paramour? I think we may have found a way for Wilbur to go Too Far, and I dread the consequences.

Dick Tracy, 4/13/25

Sorry, I misspoke Thursday, that guy with the flattop isn’t a cop; he has a much higher calling, as an insurance investigator, and he and the dentist are going to crack this case wide open. Imagine thinking you could disguise a corpse by simulating someone else’s dental work in a superficial way, without taking into account the natural wear and tear that occurs over time! It makes this good doctor furious, and he’s showing his anger by baring his teeth — his beautiful, beautiful teeth — as is custom among his people.

The Phantom, 4/13/25

Speaking of customs among the people, it seems our Wambesi city kid has gone straight from never looking down on the old ways to hopping straight over Chesterton’s fence into the Forbidden Zone. Sure, it’s not permitted for you to go in that direction, rube, but Nia has a metal detector and a shirt from the Gap. She’s going to be fine! Stop complaining!

Post Content

Mary Worth, 4/12/25

Welp, looks like Dawn’s about to die in agony after drinking a powerful drain cleaner … and that’s the tea, sis! Ha ha, get it, because Belle poisoned the tea, in order to murder Dawn? Anyway, I feel like it’s relevant that Dawn has eaten Mary Worth’s cooking for years, but I can’t tell if constant exposure has hardened her system enough that she can survive drinking Wilbur’s off-brand Drano, or if it’s merely numbed her senses of taste and smell so much that she won’t be able to detect the toxic substance as she drinks it.

Shoe, 4/12/25

Wow, Madame Zoo Doo’s facial expression is extremely grim here. See, all this time you thought she was crazy or a fraud, but it turns out that she can really see into the future — she just can’t change it. Free will, she knows all too well, is an illusion: nothing we do can change our fate. Why burden her customers with this terrible knowledge?

Hi and Lois, 4/12/25

Hey, Hi, I don’t want to make things awkward, but you know your friend’s an alcoholic, right? Like, it’s kind of his whole personality? It’s right there in his name? Sorry you had to find out like this, but, c’mon.

Post Content

Mary Worth, 4/3/25

The thing about Belle is that frankly nobody is operating on her level, at least not yet, and that makes her extremely dangerous. Look at the asymmetry in thought balloons in that second panel. Dawn is calling her a “phony nut,” which, c’mon Dawn, which is it? Is she a real nut or is she pretending to be a nut? Not very cutting. Meanwhile, every synapse erratically firing in Belle’s brain is just “KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL KILL”

Crankshaft, 4/3/25

Ha ha, it’s funny because Pam herself was profoundly warped when she was young, because of her father’s terrible personality!