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Marvin, 10/19/20

Oh, I guess yesterday’s strip, which made a zany joke about two fish who hate each other but will be imprisoned together in a bowl for the rest of their lives, was actually introducing two fun new characters in the Marvinverse! They’re going to take out the aggression and rage they feel towards each other and direct at Marvin, which, you know, fair. Just another day of mutual antipathy in the ol’ Miller household, where nobody likes anybody and Marvin poops his pants all the time!

Mary Worth, 10/19/20

It’s of course impossible to actually determine how much in-universe time has passed in Mary Worth in the [gulp] 16 years I’ve been commenting on this strip. Tommy hasn’t aged that much since his drug deal went wrong, so I assume that isn’t supposed to have actually happened more than a decade a go, though he did do at least some time in prison, and Santa Royale has in fact gone through the full arc of gentrification since then. Basically, what I’m trying to figure out if there’s anyone left in the Santa Royale criminal underground who might actually remember Tommy from his bad old days, or if this shadowy figure is actually Tommy’s dark self, trying to lure him back to a life of crime now that true love hasn’t worked out for him.

Mark Trail, 10/19/20

Wait, are we using Woods and Wildlife as a vehicle to make fun of the publishing industry? HEY NEWLY SELF-AWARE MARK TRAIL, STOP STEALING MY BIT

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Mary Worth, 10/8/20

[Reads panel one] Well, Tommy, I think it’s admirable you’re moving forward into this difficult conversation by openly talking about your own feelings and being vulnerable about what the stakes here are are for you emotionally, and [gets to panel two] NOOO TOMMY NO ABORT ABORT ABORT

Mark Trail, 10/8/20

That’s right, you simpering fools! You dared cross Mark and now you understand your terrible mistake! Now you must shower him with apologies! Praise! Money! Only if he cracks a smile will you know that you have returned to his good graces! Keep trying! Try harder!

Beetle Bailey, 10/8/20

Looks like the troops from Camp Swampy are going to be deployed to Afghanistan! Not sure if this means that the Afghan peace process is going well or really, really badly.

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Mary Worth, 10/6/20

Sorry for not alerting everybody to the fact that Tommy proposed to Brandy using an onion ring yesterday, because I found it maudlin and predictable and also it rips off a bit from the Simpsons. But Brandy letting Tommy down not-so-gently by saying “Hey, we’re just having fun here, why ruin everything with labels, you know?”, presumably triggering a relapse into addiction and/or crime? I promise to keep you breathlessly up to date on developments.

Dick Tracy, 10/6/20

We temporarily step away from Dick tracking down deadly vampire cosplayers to bring you Sam laughing uproariously at a new comic in the Neo-Chicago Tribune! See, it’s funny because this guy kills people for the government, but nobody gets to kill him. This strip’s gonna be hit around the precinct!