Archive: Mary Worth

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Mary Worth, 10/20/20

Folks, we got a real situation on our hands here, by which I mean we’re in that rare, golden period where every day’s Mary Worth is going to demand constant attention and analysis. Here’s Tommy’s old dirtbag buddy Vin, who, say what you will about a gap-toothed back-alley crackhead, but he immediately recognizes an old friend in a low emotional state and offers to share a hit or two of hard-earned crack cocaine, despite his clearly stated plan to consume the entire pipeful himself. Anyway, let’s give a big shoutout to new-ish Mary Worth artist June Brigman, who has successfully rendered a recognizable crack pipe, in contrast with Apartment 3-G, which featured characters smoking “rock” or maybe “dope” out of some sort of tube, or old-school Mary Worth, in which Tommy the dealer had a big brown bag o’ meth.

Shoe, 10/20/20

Wouldn’t have picked Shoe as the newspaper comic strip that was going to perfectly capture the mood of America in 2020, but, well, congrats to Shoe for perfectly capturing the mood of American in 2020!

Crankshaft, 10/20/20

Does … does Crankshaft think that “transporter” is trademarked but “Star Trek” isn’t

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Marvin, 10/19/20

Oh, I guess yesterday’s strip, which made a zany joke about two fish who hate each other but will be imprisoned together in a bowl for the rest of their lives, was actually introducing two fun new characters in the Marvinverse! They’re going to take out the aggression and rage they feel towards each other and direct at Marvin, which, you know, fair. Just another day of mutual antipathy in the ol’ Miller household, where nobody likes anybody and Marvin poops his pants all the time!

Mary Worth, 10/19/20

It’s of course impossible to actually determine how much in-universe time has passed in Mary Worth in the [gulp] 16 years I’ve been commenting on this strip. Tommy hasn’t aged that much since his drug deal went wrong, so I assume that isn’t supposed to have actually happened more than a decade a go, though he did do at least some time in prison, and Santa Royale has in fact gone through the full arc of gentrification since then. Basically, what I’m trying to figure out if there’s anyone left in the Santa Royale criminal underground who might actually remember Tommy from his bad old days, or if this shadowy figure is actually Tommy’s dark self, trying to lure him back to a life of crime now that true love hasn’t worked out for him.

Mark Trail, 10/19/20

Wait, are we using Woods and Wildlife as a vehicle to make fun of the publishing industry? HEY NEWLY SELF-AWARE MARK TRAIL, STOP STEALING MY BIT

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Mary Worth, 10/8/20

[Reads panel one] Well, Tommy, I think it’s admirable you’re moving forward into this difficult conversation by openly talking about your own feelings and being vulnerable about what the stakes here are are for you emotionally, and [gets to panel two] NOOO TOMMY NO ABORT ABORT ABORT

Mark Trail, 10/8/20

That’s right, you simpering fools! You dared cross Mark and now you understand your terrible mistake! Now you must shower him with apologies! Praise! Money! Only if he cracks a smile will you know that you have returned to his good graces! Keep trying! Try harder!

Beetle Bailey, 10/8/20

Looks like the troops from Camp Swampy are going to be deployed to Afghanistan! Not sure if this means that the Afghan peace process is going well or really, really badly.