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Mary Worth, 11/18/18

I feel like an underappreciated aspect of the two-week-long victory lap Mary’s been doing at the end of this storyline is how she keeps talking about how getting Mr. Wynter a new dog has really transformed him, because of course when we first met him he had a dog, Bella, and was real grouch. So it’s not just that he needed canine companionship to open up emotionally, it’s that he needed the right dog. Mary Worth definitely killed Bella, is what I’m saying.

Six Chix, 11/18/18

Say, have you ever gone to an art museum and wanted someplace to stash your coat, or been glad to have a convenient lunch spot so you could spend the whole day there, or needed to use the bathroom? Well congratulations, turns out you’re a real philistine, I hope you understand what an art-hating monster you are

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Blondie, 11/16/18

It’s a tough competition, but to my mind the legacy comic strip most aggressively out of touch with how young people talk, think, and act is Blondie. The creators of Snuffy Smith or Crock may know less about computers and social media and such, but at least they don’t build entire strips around their own perception of how those things work, revealing a mindset of mingled bafflement and contempt. Have you ever shouted the name of a popular viral video, which is of course the word “hashtag” followed by two largely nonsense words, to your fellow kid on the other end of a couch so that she can also consume and enjoy that content? Of course you have, this is an extremely relatable scenario.

Mary Worth, 11/16/18

Do you think that Toby knows that Mary is always narrating her exploits in such detail because she’s grooming her to take over as Charterstone’s meddler-in-chief once Mary passes on? As the incident Mary is describing indicates, she’s anything but subtle, but you have to take into account the fact that Toby is very dumb, so she might want to just come out and say it.

Pluggers, 11/16/18

I’m really bummed about the cowardly “bacon patch” joke that’s been grafted onto this panel at the last minute, because I thought that, in “Rhino-Man volunteers to be a subject for dangerous experimental drug trials,” we finally had a Pluggers bleak enough to serve as a sequel to “Rhino-Man hocks his TV.”

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Mary Worth, 11/7/18

Oh, actually, I guess this week isn’t going to be about the special care you need to take when adopting a traumatized dog. Nope, it’s just an elaborate metaphor, where Greta the bow-tie wearing dog is a stand-in for the bow-tie wearing Saul, who was shutting out the good along with the bad mere hours ago. Probably Greta will come around just as quickly, with help from a little roast chicken skin! Did Mary consider just luring Saul out of his apartment and/or emotional shell with some roast chicken skin? Might’ve saved everyone a lot of time.

Dick Tracy, 11/7/18

Remember when Dick Tracy was about truly horrific and violent deaths? Well, it’s about people faxing documents to other people now. Funny how things work out in this world!