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Family Circus, 2/24/24

The Family Circus was originally drawn by Bil Keane, with the characters all being thinly veiled versions of him and his real family, and the Bil analogue character in the strip also worked as a cartoonist; the narrative layers only got more tangled when real-life Jeffy took over, making the occasional guest stints by “Billy, age 7” a true semiotic swamp: originally these panels were Bil pretending to be his son pretending to be him, and now they’re Jeff pretending to be his brother pretending to be their father. Anyway, here’s today panel, which features said father vividly writhing on the floor in agony!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/24/24

I guess it’s probably good that soap opera comics, a form of entertainment primarily enjoyed by the elderly and infirm, are increasingly targeting those readers with PSA-style messages about how they need to have a plan for the inevitable upcoming incident when they will have fallen and won’t be able get up, but in their shoes I personally would find it a little insulting. Dagnabbit, these older folks get plenty of bad news in the rest of the paper! When they turn to Rex Morgan, M.D., they want to see our heroes get a fat check or prance around in their underwear for a bit. They very much do not want to stare into the wizened face of their own mortality, in the form of Aunt Tildy and the “Count” here.

Mary Worth, 2/24/24

God I love this strip. Recent events have sent Keith into turmoil, but Mary? Mary is doing great. Thriving, even. Walking alone around the Charterstone grounds, serenely meditating on some of her favorite zero-content aphorisms. Truly living her best life.

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Beetle Bailey, 2/22/24

Beetle Bailey has always added new characters to cash in on the latest fads, and a fun fact is that “Rocket ’88’,” considered by some to be the first rock ‘n’ roll record, was released 6 months after the first Beetle Bailey comic strip, so rock ‘n’ roll was in fact one of those fads that they cashed in on by introducing us to “Rocky.” He’s been many things since then, of course — like a nihilist from an impoverished background — but I like today’s strip, which decides to dig back into Rocky’s origins to find new material, and dares to ask the question “What if Rocky is really into playing rock music, but is also really bad at it?”

Judge Parker, 2/22/24

Uh oh! Judge Parker Senior’s wayward daughter got caught by some tough criminal dude she owes money to, and he’s going to drag her to the Parker residence to get that money, like she tried and failed to do herself over Christmas. Except, oops, Judge Parker Senior himself is waiting for them in the doorway! That guy went to prison! “What was I thinking,” thinks the tough criminal dude “At first I wanted to extort money from this guy, but now that I see him, he’s kinda scary. I gotta get outta here!”

Mary Worth, 2/22/24

“Sure, Sonia really wanted to establish a connection to her biological father — that’s what started this whole journey — and I’m not that. But, on the other hand, I already won her affection. I won! You don’t give up and admit defeat after you already won!”

Dennis the Menace, 2/22/24

You might look at this panel, with the lettering all smooshed up to the right there, and think it looks like absolute shit. But how else are people supposed to know that it’s Mr. Wilson who’s talking, smart guy? By a basic understanding of body language, social cues, and character dynamics? I think you’re overestimating the hardcore Dennis the Menace fandom by quite a bit.

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Mary Worth, 2/20/24

OK, I’ll officially be back on this storyline’s side again if instead of manfully failing to mention those inconvenient paternity test results and stepping up as a fake dad, Keith instead spirals into a world of paranoia where he questions everything he thought he knew. Kitty did keep Sonia a secret from him all these years, though if she wasn’t really his daughter I guess it was less “keeping her a secret” so much as “not telling him about a person who wasn’t related to him and isn’t any of his business.” Also, she didn’t tell him, a guy she slept with a few times 20 years ago, about a fake vegan with a dumb hat who kept hanging around and who seemed interested in a sexual/predatory way in Kelly or maybe in Sonia, who can say, but the important thing is that she kept Keith in the dark about him! Again, some might call this less “keeping Keith in the dark” and more “not keeping a guy she slept with a few times 20 years ago up to date about her current personal drama, because she hasn’t talked to him in 20 years so why would she tell him about this specifically,” but the important thing is that Keith is becoming increasingly emotionally unmoored, which, I cannot emphasize enough, I support.

Gasoline Alley, 2/20/24

OK, fine, it turns out the shocking and disturbing news in Gasoline Alley isn’t about nightmarish genetic experiments but rather the fact that they’re going to rename Gasoline Alley, presumably because of woke. I guess “Gasoline Alley” is the name of a specific geographical location within the strip, but if it is they haven’t made an overt reference to it in years, and I think it would be very funny if the city council within the strip had the awesome power to change the name of the very universe that contained their entire reality.