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Hi all, happy Friday, and happy comments of the week! Before we get to the week’s top comments, check out the Worthy Awards, in which that fantabulous Mary Worth and Me blog picks the greatest panels and plots of 2011. Will your favorites come out on top? It’s like the Oscars, but not as subtle.

And now, your comment of the week!

“Who in the hell is the plugger lady talking to? I know the animals are anthropomorphic, but is the furniture also? I don’t even want to consider that the can of whipped cream is sentient and splooging away from all the sexy, sexy shaking.” –Mumblix Grumph

And the runners up! Very funny!

“Momma’s books are all where they belong: too high for her to reach them. Because seriously, fuck reading.” –Doctor Handsome

“It took me a moment to realize that the MW panel took place on a boat. I thought Mary’s hero status had entitled her to a car twice as wide as a school bus.” –AndyL

“Haha, Mary and Jeff look like escaped drug kingpins from Miami Vice.” –Calico

“First off, in Hootin’ Holler, a ‘yard with junk’ in it is more succinctly known as a ‘yard.'” –Anonymous

“Let’s see … It’s dark outside the windows, Rex and his woman are in their PJs, and the woman in green is … shopping for a coffin?? Good god, she’s gone to one of those sleazy 24-hour coffin shops! Why did you even bother to get out of the car, lady? You might as well have used the drive-through.” –Oregonian

“How did I get in the will? Hurry up and tell me, so I can get back to my idle rich pursuits, such as self-taught karate with my wife. Come on, hurry, we have our outfits on and everything.” –Chareth Cutestory

“That ‘PSSSSS…’ coming out of the can seriously worries me. I imagine the ‘whipped topping’ was all squeezed out hours ago and now our poor chicken-lady is deluding herself by trying her get out every last particle out of the can before giving up and deciding to turn to a less degrading habit, like using heroin.” –Irrischano

“Not only is Lu Ann already calling the people who raised her by their first names, but she’s still calling Ruby ‘Ruby’ instead of ‘Mom.’ Lu Ann is so damaged she can never trust anyone again! Either that or the new information that she’s adopted took up the space in her brain that used to hold ‘things to call your parents that are not their actual first names.'” –Windier E. Megatons

“I’m actually kind of amused by the concept that this mollusk has evolved modern-day defense mechanisms against humans. Instead of spines or poison, it’s going for ‘fake laws.'” –Carly

“I will, however, remark that what appears to be a coffee mug in panel 1 has transformed into a one-time-use plastic cup in panel 2, and Chip is reading first On The Rope and then On The Rood. I’m glad that small inconsistencies in the artwork are still present — they give the comics a desperate, human touch.” –Notebooked

“Today I’m wishing Ziggy was a three-panel strip, if only because watching him get his ass kicked by a seashell would be incredibly cathartic.” –Snuggs

I must thanks to all who put some cash into my tip jar! And we must give thanks to our advertisers:

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Mary Worth, 1/19/12

“They seem like good people! I think she’ll be all right! But of course you can never be too careful. I suppose that horrible kidnapper seemed like a good person, at first! My only choice is to monitor the situation to make sure that her parents aren’t kidnappers too. I might have to rescue Emily from them! Then I’ll be a hero twice!”

Luann, 1/19/12

OK, I take it back, this might be interesting after all. Haha, TJ, always the hilarious trickster! Remember, the best pranks are the ones where you leave a paper trail behind you that can lead to your arrest and imprisonment.

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Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 1/16/11

When I saw the first panel of this strip, I thought, “Wow, it’s a representative of the Hootin’ Holler law enforcement apparatus who isn’t Sheriff Tait! You almost never see them!” Then in the second panel I realized why. Sheriff Tait may have come to some sort of modus vivendi with the violent criminals who inhabit his jurisdiction, but those scofflaws won’t hesitate to murder one of Tait’s employees in cold blood when he tries to do the basics of his job.

Hagar the Horrible, 1/16/11

This wizened Viking chieftain may no longer be physically fit enough to join in on his murderous clan’s annual expeditions of rape and plunder, but he still has enough social standing to demand that the raiders bring him back the sex slaves that are his right.

Six Chix, 1/16/11

I may be revealing my failure as a plugged-in consumer of popular culture here, but I’ve never actually seen the Saturday Night Live “More Cowbell” sketch. My understanding is that it involves Christopher Walken as a music producer, demanding more cowbell over the course of recording a song? I don’t really see how that relates to the scene here, which makes me suspect that the reference was a last-minute nonsensical substitution for the original text, in which this beady-eyed cat expressed its contempt for and violent intentions towards its sleeping family in terms that simply could not be published in a family newspaper.

Panel from Mary Worth, 1/16/11

Oh, and hey, is Mary Worth using her recent kidnap-foiling to demand that everyone kiss her ass even harder than usual? You’d better believe it!