Archive: Mary Worth

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/14/25

Back in the days when Woody Wilson was writing Judge Parker and Rex Morgan, M.D., one of the running bits was that the characters would reap significant financial rewards and social prestige extremely easily, like when Alan Parker’s unreadable potboiler The Chambers Affair became an international best-seller beloved worldwide, even by murderous black-market arms merchants. But in the post-Wilson world of both strips things have been, uh, different, and now Auggie is shopping around a novel and his hopes have maxed out at getting an advance large enough to afford one (1) nice dinner for him and his girlfriend. I’m not gonna read way too much into some soap opera comic strips and say this trajectory nicely summarizes the collapse of the economic possibilities of creative work over the past decade, but … oh, who am I kidding, reading way too much into some soap opera comic strips is basically the whole shtick on this blog, that’s exactly what I’m saying.

Mary Worth, 10/14/25

I know that trying to derive meaning from the bolded words in Mary Worth strips is a fool’s errand, but it is intriguing that she’s leaning on accident here. You know, Olive, the balloon accident, the event that was definitely unplanned and not at all arranged in advance as a means to test your powers to see if they could be exploited by the CIA. What have we learned from it? Uh, I mean, you, what have you learned about it, ha ha! Forget that little slip of the tongue!

Pluggers, 10/14/25

The degree to which pluggers are sedentary can honestly not be overstated.

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Mary Worth, 10/13/25

OK, sorry, Mary, I know you don’t want to think too hard about the strange logic of Olive’s powers and the implications for free will and the nature of time itself, but what Olive’s saying doesn’t make any sense. Oh, she didn’t have a feeling of doom before the balloon crash, because it all worked out in the end (due to her psychic powers, not her prophetic powers)? So how do her visions sometimes help change the future? What about the time she was able to stop Mary from being killed by a falling air conditioner? That scenario had a happy ending, and yet … wait. Did Olive have the unmistakable feeling of doom because Mary survived? Holy shit. Holy shit. This whole thing just got a lot more twisted.

Herb and Jamaal, 10/13/25

Hey, Jamaal, I don’t think … anyone thinks baldness is a curse from God? Why would you even bring this up? Sounds like someone’s actually just overcompensating for some internalized baldophobia and you need to do some work on yourself and your self-image.

Luann, 10/13/25

Big news, everyone! Bernice and Luann have been Consumed by some kind of mysterious Portal. More on this story as it develops, if it turns out to be interesting (it won’t).

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Mary Worth, 10/10/25

Mary’s looking pretty frazzled in panel two, and who can blame her, what with her having just been in a freak balloon accident and then brushed off by a fireman who didn’t want to make small talk while he was in the middle of a complex rescue operation. Still, she has to realize that the scenario she’s describing makes no sense, right? Why would Saul and Eve send dogs to find her, when they didn’t even know she was missing? Soon enough she’s going to put two and two together, and then either set up a full-on cult that worships Olive, or sell her to a lab where her brain can be studied and possibly profited from.

Mother Goose and Grimm, 10/10/25

I guess I don’t know for sure that there’s no such thing as a physical drone store, though if I were buying a drone, I’d probably just get one online, like a normal person. But if there are such retail establishments, I feel confident in saying that the staff there does not wear tuxedos to work. I wish we lived in that glorious and classy world, but unfortunately we do not.

Judge Parker, 10/10/25

“She needs someplace where she can be just a kid again … you know, like a vast estate owned by the richest lady in town, where she can ride horses all day. Normal, relatable kid stuff. Will there be other children there for her to play with? Ha ha, goodness no.”