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Dennis the Menace, 10/4/10

The Mitchells’ pastor ought to be concerned about young Dennis’ decision to turn away from the Christian God and instead offer his worship to Skynet, the superintelligent computer network that will soon destroy us all.

Jumble, 10/4/10

As usual, I’m too dumb to actually solve the Jumble, but I do want to point out that “vomiting” would fit into the solution blanks nicely.

Luann, 10/4/10

After setting this foolproof plan in motion, TJ will head off to his job as a master cat burglar/puppeteer.

Mary Worth, 10/4/10

Let’s hope Jill Black at the hospital has some knife fighting experience, if that oh no nobody’s horning in on MY meddle expression on Mary’s face in panel two foreshadows things to come (and please, please, let it foreshadow things to come).

Slylock Fox, 10/4/10

Shady’s new membership in the Bloods is about to be revoked with extreme prejudice after the other gang members find out he obsessively hoards golden kitty-kat figurines.

Crankshaft, 10/4/10

“Also, we might occasionally be allowed to experience joy!”

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Hey all, just a head’s up: I’ve updated the posting and discussion policies for the site, mostly to reflect and explain how I already run things around here anyway. If you’ve never read this, read it, and even if you have, check out the updates, particularly the new FAQ/Socratic dialogue I’ve added that will hopefully be illuminating about how not to get banned/yelled at!

And now, on to comics.

Dick Tracy, 9/30/10

Is it possible to construct a more delightful phrase than “Dick Tracy, undercover hobo”? I believe the answer to that question to be a firm “no,” but only because no English word-sequence can truly convey the awesomeness of panel one, where Dick’s eyes glow hypnotically out of his shadowy, bearded face. Dick’s gone undercover among the scruffy unhoused set to track down a bum who’s handing out thousand-dollar bills. As a homeless man handing out thousand-dollar bills would in all likelihood be almost immediately robbed and murdered, but just in case that isn’t in process, Dick makes sure to shout out his location as loudly as possible, for no good reason.

Mary Worth, 9/30/10

Desperate for some way to enliven this offensively smug scene, the Mary Worth artist distracts us with wacky perspective shifts. Panel two, for instance, caters to every reader’s fantasy by showing what it would look like to be a master assassin lurking in the bushes across the street, watching Mary and Jeff through the scope of a high-powered rifle, and waiting for the perfect moment to pull the trigger.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 9/30/10

Oh, Elviney (if that is your name — I’m pretty sure it is but I don’t feel like looking it up), why do you sigh so? Is it a sigh like “Oh, that tired old chestnut?” A sigh like, “Darn, I was hoping for some effective weight-loss tips from my portly friend?” Or a sigh like, “Good lord, all of us in this blighted hamlet are so very poor and hungry?”

Wizard of Id, 9/30/10

Ha ha! It’s funny because Floyd died terribly, for no good reason!

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Ha ha, remember last week, when you woke up bright and early every day with Uncle Lumpy’s comedy stylings? Well, you’re with me now, and you’ll take posts at random times and you’ll like it.

Mary Worth, 9/28/10

Oh … oh God. Without even the benefit of a Charterstone pool party to cleanse the palate, Mary has moved on from matchmaking to start her most ambitious meddle yet: the Mother of the Bride Meddle. Sure, she isn’t technically Adrian’s mother, or even her stepmother, but she’s served as Jeff’s platonic yet monogamous consort ever since she killed his wife in ritual combat, so she’s the closest thing Adrian’s got. Mary’s passive-aggressive commentary on the inadequacies of the dress, DJ, floral arrangements, wedding invitation fonts/paper stock, and attendants that Adrian has selected will be delicious. If we’re really lucky, she’ll insist that they make it a double wedding with her new favorite couple, the now merged into wholeness Mike and Jenna.

Mark Trail, 9/28/10

“Wait, did I say ‘cagey,’ as in ‘reluctant to give information due to caution or suspicion?’ Ha ha, that makes no sense. I mean ‘caged,’ because I’ve transformed my property into a giant cage by means of miles of chain-link fence. Not that this cage-hunting business won’t be exciting and challenging! Do you gentlemen smell something gubernatorial in here? I think you’ll find that it’s me!”

Apartment 3-G, 9/28/10

Oh, look, Lu Ann is still acting like a sullen teenager over her hair. Yep, haven’t missed much!