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Mary Worth, 4/21/23

I’m not at all a person who’s in favor of repressing one’s feelings, but Wilbur is openly weeping in front of you, Mary! I don’t think he needs the language of song to help him fully express his emotions! He just needs some tissues so he doesn’t get snot all over your upholstery.

Dennis the Menace, 4/21/23

I dunno, Dennis, you appear to have put on a shirt and tie to set the mood for the single guest your mother invited over, so I’m going to actually guess that you’re in the top decile of manners for six-year-olds nationwide.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/21/23

Ha ha, look at Yvonne’s face in that second panel, that’s a woman who’s trying so hard to not just blurt out “SO ARE YOU EVER GOING TO SING ‘MUDDY BOOTS’ AGAIN OR WHAT”

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Gil Thorp, 4/19/23

Oh, were you upset that Gil Thorp seemed to have dropped the Great Vape Caper storyline? Well, it seems Toby and his pals are still out there perpetrating their elaborate and largely innocuous vape fundraising scam, and now Toby’s worried that Gil has gotten wind of it (the metaphorical wind in this case blowing a huge metaphorical cloud of cotton candy-flavored vape into Gil’s face). Anyway, I guess the whole point of this awkwardly worded exchange is to give Gil a chance to plant a seed of doubt in Toby’s mind and also declare that he’s fully straightedge, but I do wonder what exactly happened during this hospital visit in what appears to be the middle of the afternoon that has Toby thinking Gil may be too fucked up to drive.

Mary Worth, 4/19/23

The way Wilbur phrases things in panel two, it sounds like Estelle rejected him down via text before he even had a chance to once again shoot his shot, which I love. Like I certainly hope that the moment the desire to “get back with Stell” had formed in his mind, his ex felt the hair go up on the back of her neck, texted him “I’M VERY HAPPY WITH SOMEBODY ELSE RIGHT NOW WILBUR”, and then immediately blocked his number.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/18/23

Oh no, Hank Jr. must either give in to that nagging feeling he has about “Dr. Mirakle” and follow that thread no matter how far it goes or what kind of seedy underworld of fraud and violence it takes him to, or he could forget all about it and go back to his cabin and fool around with his wife. Sounds like a tough choice, I know, but keep in mind that if he “solves” the Dr. Mirakle caper, absolutely nobody will give a shit, so clearly that’s the route he’s going to take.

Marvin, 4/18/23

Every once in a while they make an “old guys doing crimes” movie with beloved older actors, like Tough Guys (1986, Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas) or Going In Style (2017, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, and Alan Arkin), along with probably some other ones in the intervening 30 years that I’m forgetting. These movies are never really big hits but there’s a built-in audience, which is to say old people, and since old people are also the most important audience for newspaper comics, Marvin could definitely do worse than have a whole subplot where Roy and Bernie’s new friend Earl pulls them into a life of crime, providing a kind of thrill in their later years that they thought they’d never recapture. Or, you know, the strip could instead have one joke about a guy who can’t stop wearing a ski mask, ha ha, then it’s right back into the poop jokes.

Mary Worth, 4/18/23

Dr. Ed is out here proving that you don’t have to follow annoying technicalities like “labor law” when you GOT THAT GOOD DICK