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Mark Trail, 7/21/08

“The scent of the meat” being referred to in panel three is, of course, a coded reference to Kelly Welly’s genitals.

Mary Worth, 7/21/08

What is it that “feels to familiar … and yet so fresh at the same time” to Jeff? Mary Worth’s genitals, obviously.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 7/21/08

“I’m pretty sure the bear represented your genitals! And how, as we enter puberty, I’m simultaneously fascinated by and terrified of ’em!”

Pluggers, 7/21/08

Ha ha, this one isn’t about genitals at all! It’s just an explanation of how this plugger, when slightly less little, came to start getting high from huffing common household solvents.

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Funky Winkerbean, 7/20/08

“Lots of botox,” eh? The terrifying secret behind the endless smirking is revealed! The Funkiverse characters really aren’t the group of smug bastards that they appear to be; rather, misguided attempts to recapture their youthful good looks have left their faces frozen in ghastly rictus grins, despite all the cancerous horror their creator throws at them. It must make their existence extra depressing, frankly.

Slylock Fox, 7/21/08

Answer: Slylock knows that he can get another mouse at the pet store for less than $5. Maybe he can get one like the one with a nice scarf, like the critter drawn by the young man from Terre Haute!

Panel from Mary Worth, 7/20/08

If you’ve read 1984, you probably remember Room 101, the torture chamber where the dictatorial government subjects you to the thing you fear the most. The novel’s hero is threatened with rats, but I’m pretty sure that if I were brought there, I’d be confronted with Mary Worth saying this.

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Funky Winkerbean, 7/18/08

“What I’m trying to say is, will you wear this bald wig tonight? I’ll pay you!”

Gil Thorp, 7/18/08

“I think I’m drifting in the Sea of Cortez someplace, and I need his help getting ahold of the Coast Guard down here.”

Mary Worth, 7/18/08

“Like, now? Can we make another go right now? Because I think if I have to look at this orangey glop for one more second, I’m going to throw up.”