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Mary Worth, 1/24/23

You might remember that a bit over a year ago, Estelle, owner of two pets — a cat who defeated Wilbur in a piss fight and a dog that Wilbur had to give to her because the dog didn’t like him — went on a fateful date with her vet during one of the off-again lulls in her on-again, off-again relationship with Wilbur, and that date was the night of the fateful karaoke battle that she and Wilbur waged against one another. Ed the vet left immediately, obviously, and they hadn’t spoken since, but last week she decided to take her pets back to him for a checkup, and I guess hoped that he wouldn’t mention it? But he did mention it, and they had a good laugh and decided to do another date, which I didn’t discuss here because it was all pretty boring.

Today, thought … today has potential. There’s one thing any person absolutely loves on a date, and its when their date arrives late, sits down directly next to you, and says “Sorry about the wait, but I was up to my elbows in dead pomeranian like 15 minutes ago. Wasn’t my fault, honest, thought it’s not like you or the pomeranian’s owners could tell if it was, ha ha!” Anyway, after Wilbur and Arthur Z, Dr. Ed should have a very low bar to clear in terms of Estelle romantic partner quality, so I’m excited to see how it botches it.

Dick Tracy, 1/24/23

It’d be pretty wild if this Dick Tracy storyline ends with the criminals all killing each other before Dick even has a chance to! Maybe one day these guys will learn that it’s better for everyone concerned if contracts are enforced by a state apparatus with an elaborate system of civil law and, ultimately, a monopoly on legitimate violence, rather than just the fickle promises of other criminals.

Pluggers, 1/24/23

Sure, you laugh, but this is actually a great screening and diagnostic technique. If you come back and the patient is angry-crying about how they’ve pissed themselves waiting for you, you know you should schedule them for an appointment right a way, whereas if they’re just annoyed you can fit them in next month sometime.

Shoe, 1/24/23

“Wait, aren’t you like eleven years old? That frankly makes even less sense.”

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Family Circus, 1/17/23

I’m really loving the body language in today’s panel. Jeffy clearly didn’t just mouth off at random; rather, he made a deliberate choice to provoke his sister, and was emotionally prepared for the consequences. That’s why, even though his body is bending backwards from the sheer physical force of Dolly’s disapproval, you can tell form his face that he’s remaining calm and collected during the onslaught.

Mary Worth, 1/17/23

One of my favorite Mary Worth running bits is Dr. Jeff proposing to Mary and getting rejected. It’s been quite a while since the last iteration of it, though, and it’s clear that Jeff has been biding his time for the perfect moment, the moment when he gets Mary to admit that wedding ceremonies are great and marriage itself is the end-all be-all of personal happiness. You’re almost there, Jeff! You’ve trapped her in her own words!

Crankshaft, 1/17/23

Ooh, foreshadowing, everybody! That’s the prototype of the robot model that’s going to take over Lillian’s bookstore someday, in the wake of “the Burnings,” an impending apocalyptic event that I assume involves the corpses of bookstore owners burned in great pyres by the robots that replace them.

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Mary Worth, 1/13/23

Iris and Zak just had a church wedding, but it’s never been entirely clear what their religious/spiritual deal is. Zak in particular seems unsure but curious about what happens after death. Will he and Iris be resurrected bodily, and be able to enjoy each other bodily, in the next life? Will they transcend this plane of existence and love one another as spiritual beings of pure mind, delighting in each other in ways we can’t currently even imagine? Is it necessary for Iris to go through an elaborate mummification process after her death, and for Zak to be buried alive in her pyramid, to ensure that they will be together forever in neter-khertet, the underworld realm of Lord Osiris? These questions and more await them on their journey!

Gil Thorp, 1/13/23

On the other hand, he may discover that marriage is a long slog and that twenty years or so from now one or both of them will, like Emily “Mimi” Thorp, find themselves flirting with their golf coach. Who can say! The future is unknowable!