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Mary Worth, 8/2/22

I have to admit that I have no idea how we’re supposed to understand the flow of time in Mary Worth; for instance, early in this Jared-Dawn arc, they mentioned that our star-crossed couple had been “friends” for “years” before eventually submitting to one another’s gross lusts, and while it’s true that Jared was first introduced to us in a storyline from 2017, everyone seems more or less the same age in-strip as they were then so I had figured internally that was supposed to be six months ago, tops. Anyway, my point is that it’s also not clear how long ago Wilbur’s private island adventure/death fakeroo was supposed to be, so I’m not sure if Estelle demanded “another break” because of that whole scene or if Wilbur managed to do something even more hilariously infuriating since.

Judge Parker, 8/2/22

Sorry, we know this is a strip where most things are established by dialogue, but Abbey’s not in a talking mood right now, so no talking, OK? It would probably help the story along if there were action of some sort that could substitute for the talking, but I think it’s probably not a big surprise to anyone that that isn’t happening either.

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Mary Worth, 8/1/22

Oh hell yes, while Jared is off getting weaksauce advice from Mary, Dawn has decided to instead turn to the #1 relationship expert in her life: her father, a guy who alienated every single woman he knows by letting them mourn his death while he partied on a private island. It’s great she’s pumping him full of her patented superspicy chili first, as Wilbur’s emotional intelligence really hits its peak when he’s ripping a bunch of nasty farts.

Beetle Bailey, 8/1/22

Beetle Bailey characters usually aren’t what I’d call “expressive” but I do actually enjoy Sarge’s face here in the second panel. “Hmm,” he thinks, “that is an unusually large amount of sweat. Could be from some kind of medical condition. Maybe they should get that checked out!”

Daddy Daze, 8/1/22

The overarching theme of Daddy Daze is, of course, that the Daddy Daze daddy is constantly on the verge of unravelling mentally, but it’s important to keep in mind that he’s in constant physical pain as well.

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Mary Worth, 7/30/22

It honestly hasn’t been the greatest week for the comics this week, but I absolutely started hooting and hollering when Mary, bristiling in boldfaced type, said that “No, Jared, I don’t know how it feels to be disrespected.” You’re (relatively) new here, Jared, so you maybe you don’t know this, but when some sort of disrespect happens in a relationship involving Mary Worth, that disrespect only goes in one direction: away from Mary and towards the other person. Cruising a guy at his mother’s funeral or having a vacaton fling with a Broadway star, even though you’re already in a relationship: that’s something Mary did to her boyfriend, not something that was done to her. Never something that was done to her. One man — one man — dared to act disrespectful to Mary, romantically, and we all know how he ended up (dead). So you need to take a step back, Jared, Mary is not like you!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/30/22

“You’re an American, Tildy! You’re going to go into that hospital and die and then go bankrupt, just like everybody else.”