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If you spend your free time shoehorning innuendo into perfectly innocent Rex Morgan, M.D., dialogue, do you end up an emotional cripple who reacts to everything in the world at the emotional level of an eleven-year-old? Based on the junior-high-esque giggle fit into which I was sent by the flyer below, which I found tucked into my mail slot this morning, I’d have to say that the answer is “yes.” (I added the circles for emphasis.)

Anyway, I felt I had to share this with all of you, since you’re the only ones who’d understand. Most people, I’d just show it to them and they’d say, “I don’t understand. You don’t even have a garage.” And then I’d laugh some more.

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Hi kids! It’s that Sunday treat you all crave … the comments of the week! Here’s this week’s top performer:

“Hey, Dr. Jeff, could you elaborate a little on this Agent Orange thingy? Was it a good thing or a bad thing?” –Weasel Boy

And the others of the most hilarious:

“And MW is cranking along nicely, I see. I especially like Saturday’s. ‘So Jeff, tell me about the children … were they tasty?’” –lesles

“Are only Americans allowed to leave Vietnam? From the passengers in that plane it looks like they just left Salt Lake City.” –reader-who-posts

“All I want to know is: Where exactly is he hiding that sack full of carrots? … No, wait, nix that. No I don’t.” –JamesK

“The more I’m exposed to Slylock ‘Pound of Flesh’ Fox, the more convinced I am that it is an exercise designed to teach children that life is not fair, consistent, nor just.” –Pelagius

“‘I hope Andy doesn’t start barking!’ ‘I hope the tranquilizer I put in Andy’s snack works!’ ‘I hope old Mark Doesn’t figure out what I did until Sally and I are out of the country!’ ‘I just have to be careful not to leave any evidence behind!’ ‘I dread getting in the cold water!’ For a con artist (short for ‘confidence artist’, I might add), this guy is totally devoid of any confidence in his plan.” –Suburban Legend

“FW: Don’t worry, they’ll be able to distinguish between you and your son because you’ll be referred to as the ‘late Wally.'” –Caged Tygre

“Whenever someone says that kids today have it too easy, just show them the impossible-to-solve Slylock Fox.” –AppleGirl

“The plot sickens! Gil Thorp, Man Detective!” –Marion Delgado

“The idea of The Family Circus using the phrase ‘a whole line of’ anything is almost too tantalizing to pass up. I will, though.” –Joe

“At some point, I expect to see the following Slylock Fox answer: ‘Because he just had a hunch, okay? Slylock then proceeded to beat the suspect with a sock full of pennies until he got a confession.'” –Steve S

“And by the way, Tommie is provocatively dressed today. Her entire neck is visible. Me likey!” –PeteMoss

“‘Cleaning the garage’ seems like such an ugly euphemism for this tender moment between a juvenile delinquent and a married nurse. I think they should have gone with something more subtle and tasteful like ‘lapsnorkeling.'” –Monkeys Uncle

“I’ve found a way to remember who R.J. is in Gil Thorp: when I see him I think of ‘R. J. Reynolds’ because his head looks like a pack of cigarettes.” –gh

“(DT)GT: Well, the look on R.J. Brennan’s face in panel two says it all. I don’t know what it’s saying, since I’m not a misshapen alien from a nearby planet, but it’s certainly saying it loud.” –Craigers

“Is that blonde woman sitting behind Mary and Dr. Jeff a terrorist? Because if she isn’t, she will be by the end of the flight.” –gkl

“Dan’s plan seems to involve him getting nude outside a lot. My kind of plan.” –Tukla in Iowa

“This topical episode would be cutting edge in most nonpolitical strips, but in Funky? My only surprise is that it was topical at all. In the Funky-verse, he was just as likely to get maimed by a toaster or have a drunk driver plow through his wall and squash him in bed.” –Vex the Sane

“I’m glad FW is finally providing just what my comics page needed: entrails. –Tracer Bullet

And, as usual, we take this opportunity to shower thank-yous on our advertisers:

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• The Abandoned: She came to Russia for the secret of her past. Now she can’t escape it. In theaters everywhere February 23.
• Un Lun Dun: A dark, literary fantasy for all ages.

To find out more about advertising on this site, click here.

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Jeez, y’all have been busy little commentors over the weekend, haven’t ya? Anyway, new comics coming soon, but I thought I’d reiterate clarify a few comment-related matters:

• The spam filter is an automated, capricious beast. It is necessary to keep me from going insane — without it, I would get literally thousands of spam comments a day — but if it decides that you are a spammer, sometimes it will “retro-spank” your old comments — that is, find comments that have been around for a while and zap them. I will retrieve them if I can but I’m not always able to do so. This also mucks with the numbering system of the comments; apologies, but it is the best I can do.
• I don’t care what you link to in your comments, so long as you’re not just posting outright commercial spam or links to spyware or something. But if you’re linking to something that you might expect someone else to reasonably find objectionable, be polite and make a note of that in your comment.
• Please don’t get pissy at other commentors, even if they get pissy with you. Especially if they get pissy at you. Really, be a big person and ignore them. Do you want this site to be a center of rage and vitriol like every other site on the Interweb? No, of course you don’t. (Update: Rage and vitriol towards your fellow commentors, I mean. Hate on the Foobs and Hi and Lois all you want.) If things start getting bad, the comments will be banished to the Cockpit, but I can’t police people all the time.
• Do not throw around racial or homophobic slurs, or deliberately and repeatedly instigate conflict with your fellow commentators. That will get you deliberately added to the spam filter’s blacklist by me, and you will not get out. See the discussion policies, and heed Rule #4.