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Ha ha, yes, Momma, it would be amusing if the two candidates in today’s election were forced to share the White House, and the presidency! But alas, it appears that one of them will in all likelihood defeat the other. If you would like to argue about their relative merits, feel free to do so, in the comments on this post! The usual discussion policies are suspended on this post, so knock yourself out. If you’d like to talk about today’s comics, you can do so over here. If you’d like to see what I think of the election, I’ll be posting things all day on your Wonkette.

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Ziggy, 10/28/12

So I was reading today’s Ziggy and enjoying the little movie I made in my head about what led up to this. (Making up cruel, elaborate backstories about Ziggy’s suffering is the main reason people read Ziggy, yes?) So, yes, Ziggy won a trip to “Paris” (presumably from his local travel agency where people are mean to him all the time), and didn’t read the fine print, and then put on a beret to get on the plane to University of Illinois Willard Airport (the closest with regular commercial service to Paris, Illinois, as everybody knows), then got into a cab at this airport, with the cabbie presumably being in on the joke somehow (maybe the cruel travel agent arranged for him to pick up Ziggy in advance?), and then the cabbie just dumped Ziggy and his luggage in the middle of the road at the Paris, Illinois city limits. That last part is my favorite. Like, I’m assuming that as part of this elaborate dumb prank Ziggy actually was given a hotel room, maybe at the Super 8, but no, instead of driving him there, the cabbie decided that the sign with “Illinois” on it was the perfect place to for Ziggy to finally have his horrible realization that once again something he thought might be good in his life is only another opportunity for humiliation. Enjoy your time in Paris, Illinois, Ziggy! Enjoy walking to the Super 8 from wherever it is you are! It’s at the intersection of Highway 150 and Highway 1, FYI.

Momma, 10/28/12

I find this strip fairly unbelievable. If we know one thing about Francis, it’s that his friends are drunken good-time ne’er-do-wells. Why would he be going to a Halloween party where everyone has the same unimaginative costume and people get upset at the mere mention of alcohol? I think he may have accidentally fallen in with a cult.

Family Circus, 10/28/12

Note to anyone studying how post-modern capitalism affects the imagination of children: Kids become unable to conceptualize play-worlds that do not featured branded, licensed characters sometime between whatever age PJ is supposed to be and whatever age Jeffy is supposed to be.

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Mark Trail, 10/25/12

How hard has everyone instantly fallen in love with Ol’ Pop, the kindly patriarch of this nest of heavily armed thugs? Very hard, I’m guessing! I’m looking forward to the fun as he and Mark get to know each other. “How long have you been in this guerrilla band, Pop?” “We’re not a band of anything, son! Certainly not anything political like ‘guerrillas,’ which implies some sort of political or ideological goals. We’re just poor peasants trying to get rich by seizing Americans at gunpoint if they happen to sail too close to our village and then holding them for ransom! Now shut up and don’t touch anything in my hut or I’ll slit your throat.”

Momma, 10/25/12

“Man, I sure wish Momma would cut it out with the gross Oedipal schtick and find another direction for its sexuality-themed jokes,” said all readers of the strip until they read today’s installment and then collapsed in gibbering horror.

Family Circus, 10/25/12

“I’m leaning towards angel, because to be a saint you have to be really, really good, but to be an angel you only have to be regular-level good and also dead.”

Spider-Man, 10/25/12

I may poke fun at the journalistic bona fides of J. Jonah Jameson, Peter Parker, and the Daily Bugle here, but you have to admit that they’re doing better than the people over at the Las Vegas Vista. “Holy crap, chief,” said the top political reporter, “There’s going to be a presidential election in just a few weeks! Let’s get a news story on today’s front page! I’ll do some research and have a feature on who exactly the candidates are for Sunday.”

Apartment 3-G, 10/25/12

“And I prefer to call it 180 pounds of confidence! Are you the one behind all those ‘Is Greg Cooper packing on the pounds’ items in Walter Scott’s Personality Parade? What the hell kind of publicist are you?”

Crankshaft, 10/25/12

Jeff’s mom has met a courtly gigolo, in what is probably the single most cheerful Funkyverse development in recent memory.

Marmaduke, 10/25/12

Do you know who else was a failed artist?