Archive: Phantom

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Phantom, 5/9/11

Ooh, it’s a new Phantom adventure, everyone: “The College Kid!” And I am loving panel two, as the college kid taps away on that circa 1995 PC, ignoring the vaguely menacing jibes of the men around him and maintaining a look of withering contempt all the while. “These cretins seem to believe that just shouting can bring about a successful Internet money-making scheme! Soon I’ll produce a victory that will force them to acknowledge my importance to this criminal enterprise, and stop them from making fun of my blazer!”

Apartment 3-G, 5/9/11

Ha ha, the A3G makeover storyline may have flopped due to the artist’s inability to depict clothes that are remotely flattering or interesting-looking, but give him this: when called upon to draw the sort of hideous, unflattering dresses someone like Ruby would force upon her hapless bridesmaids, he fucking nails it.

Funky Winkerbean, 5/9/11

Hey, everyone in Les’s life: won’t you please shove a comforting metaphorical boob of reassurance into his mouth? It will probably shut him up!

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Mark Trail, 5/3/11

Ha ha, remember last week when you were all like “Dudes with mustaches, they must be bad,” but then later you thought, “Oh, I’m not giving this strip enough credit.” Well, you totally were giving it the exact right amount of credit, my friend! I can’t believe this trio — one with a mustache, one with hair that reaches his collar, and one who wears a motorcycle helmet, presumably to hide even worse crimes against grooming — dare to refer to themselves as “clean-cut kids,” mostly because they all appear to be about 35.

B.C., 5/3/11

Hey there, legacy cartoonist or cartoonists now helming B.C. on behalf of John L. Hart FLP, the whole point of the “Wiley’s Dictionary” jokes (aka the “Book on a Rock” jokes) is to slap some clip art around a painfully unfunny joke and/or pun and then head out to the golf course. There’s no need to, say, show whatever random character you have reading the dictionary straighten up in disgust and contempt at the joke’s corniness in the second panel. That sort of thing just smacks of effort.

Phantom, 5/3/11

When Diana decided to call up Savarna, who made a play for the Phantom when everyone thought Diana was dead, I assumed that she just wanted to taunt her. But don’t worry about Savarna! She’s working out her sexual frustrations very nicely, thank you, just shootin’ massive artillery pieces at stuff, by remote control.

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Phantom, 4/27/11

I’ll say this for the Phantom: Whatever its questionable history of depictions of Africans decades ago (a little digging will find you some howlers), the current version of the strip makes a reasonable attempt to accurately depict a post-colonial African state. Today’s strips neatly encapsulates the tension between the multiple sources of identity that can compete for the loyalty of citizens of such nations. Most residents of Bangalla probably aren’t more than a generation or two removed from their ancestral villages, where ties of clan and tribe are paramount; yet many of the young have moved to the modern capital of Mawitaan, where they’ve mingled with people from other parts of their country, and have perhaps begun to see themselves more as citizens of Bangalla than anything else. Which I imagine might cause problems for this whole Chatu-wrangling thing. “Wait, you want us to come home and do what now? Uh, yeah, see, we have this nice construction gig thing going here … cool shared apartment down on the lower East side, near some decent Bandar restaurants … why are you guys running a prison anyway? Don’t we pay taxes to the Bangallan government to run a prison system? Oh yeah, that’s right, you don’t participate in the whole monetary economy thing. Well, anyway, I think we’re going to stick around in the city for a while, but thanks for asking! Say hi to Grandpa for us!”

Herb and Jamaal, 4/27/11

Oh, that wacky Herb and Jamaal, unable to bring itself to use such specific terms as “GI Joe” or “soldier”! But this zaniness masks the important issue here: If the information I’m getting from Funky Winkerbean is correct, Herb’s GI Dude will be suffering from PTSD after years left abandoned in that box.

Family Circus, 4/27/11

“Just like all the messages we send to Mommy on Twitter begging her to love us! They never work either.”