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Mary Worth, 5/8/23

Welp, looks like Ed and Estelle are happy and Ed’s workplace problems are squared away, and Wilbur is emotionally processing his heartbreak the best he can (i.e., not particularly well), so it’s time for a new adventure … a nautical adventure, for Jeff and Mary. What surprise does Dr. Jeff have for his longtime beau? Is this going to be yet another failed marriage proposal? Or is he going to take Mary to the private island he recently acquired, where he can hunt men for sport without meddling Big Government getting in his way?

Gil Thorp, 5/8/23

Meanwhile, Gil is bringing his mother to see one of the little games he coaches, so she can die in the pleasant afternoon air, knowing her son could’ve been a doctor or lawyer or something but instead decided to do this, and do it pretty half-assed.

Dick Tracy, 5/8/23

It feels on-brand for Dick Tracy that this guy is threatening to set off an explosive device in a crowded exhibition hall and all the talk is about the potential damage to a rare World War II-era Monopoly game. “No! No! Our blood and viscera will be smeared all over these collectables! Their condition will have to be downgraded to ‘Fair’ and their resale value will plummet!”

Pluggers, 5/8/23

On January 12, 2007, the nationally syndicated newspaper panel Pluggers declared that the front of a refrigerator, covered with various notes and such held up by magnets, was “a plugger’s MySpace.” Today, MySpace is long gone, but Pluggers? It’s still going strong — plugging away, if you will, bringing joy to newspaper readers everywhere. What I’m trying to say is that TikTok is on notice.

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Daddy Daze, 5/6/23

I definitely wouldn’t say I have a “favorite” Daddy Daze character — why would anyone say that, that would be insane — but I will admit that whenever I see the Daddy Daze daddy’s goth friend, I think “Well, this one’s going to be different, at least.” Today we learn that he … drinks out of the dog’s bowl, I guess? Possibly because he’s so depressed he can’t drag himself up off the floor, so when he’s thirsty he just drinks out of the dog’s bowl, even though it’s all full of dog hair? It’s nice that he can muster the energy to stand upright to talk to his best (only?) friend over their backyard fence, but I suppose when it comes to being in the house by himself, the dog bowl’s right there, so why bother making the arduous climb to the sink. Do you think he even owns a dog?

Pluggers, 5/6/23

I actually laughed at today’s Pluggers because of how alarmed the chicken-lady plugger is about this. It’s called behavior-based advertising and it’s fine, chicken-lady! Well, it’s not, honestly, it’s a sign of our creeping lack of control over our own personal data and privacy, but it’s been like 15+ years at this point and (gestures around vaguely, including at the ads on this very website) it’s basically fine. Maybe you should get a walk-in bathtub! The computers think you’re interested and they’re rarely wrong.

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Mary Worth, 4/26/23

OK, look, I was willing to accept it when we only got a day of Wilbur singing karaoke while sobbing openly, but now we find out that a cat tried to blind Dr. Ed and now he’s wearing an eye patch and we didn’t get to see that at all? Unacceptable! Still, I see two potentially funny ways forward: either Ed’s briefly rekindled love affair with the veterinary profession has now been snuffed out for good, and he’s brooding one-eyedly and thinking about burning the building down for the insurance and starting over again in a new town as a simple bricklayer, or the whole incident was relayed to Estelle over the phone as he explained that he needed to “take some time off” from their relationship to sit in a dark room and heal (i.e., spend more time with his wife and children so they don’t get suspicious).

Judge Parker, 4/26/23

This is part of a larger storyline about April finally getting released from her illegal CIA prison for implausible reasons, but right now let’s just acknowledge that it’s very funny to cruelly mutter “Yeah, let’s end this” as you get yet another spam call.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 4/26/23

I’m not afraid to admit that I was genuinely surprised by the punchline in today’s Snuffy Smith: I assumed that Snowball was the seeker, and that he thought he’d have an easy time finding Li’l Sparky because horses are quite large in general, larger than most available hiding spaces, and that Li’l Sparky in particular is wearing a bright yellow blanket to boot. But, no, it turns out that Li’l Sparky is the seeker, and playing Hide and Seek with him is easy because he’s not very smart.

Pluggers, 4/26/23

Sorry, I was going to try to figure out what this joke is supposed to mean, exactly, but then I got stuck on the idea that there’s a carton of milk just off panel to our left and it’s hurling at this plugger at high speed and about to hit him right in the nose, and while I’m reasonably sure that’s not what this joke is supposed to mean, I’m enjoying that image too much to part with it.