Post Content

Apartment 3-G, 5/15/08

Wacky antics Alan will be getting up to now that he has access to the Mills Gallery after hours:

• Turning the place into a meth lab
• Turning the place into a dope salesroom
• Sitting around and getting high on rock
• Sitting in Margo’s office and masturbating, while shouting “Oh, Margo! Tell me how far behind schedule we are! Tell me I’m a screw-up! Berate me! Point angrily at me! Yes! Yes!”

Dennis the Menace, 5/15/08

“So you see, my life is dominated by making one person do things he doesn’t want to do, and making another stop doing the things that he does want to do, to the extent that I have no idea what I want to do any more! That’s why this teacup is full of gin.”

Pluggers, 5/15/08

Pluggers think that going to a store that doesn’t sell beer or guns is a big God-damned waste of time.

Post Content

Herb and Jamaal, 5/8/08

Thank goodness Herb and Jamaal is at last casting its penetrating eye on our political process, using its typical rhetorical strategy of making sure that nobody and nothing is mentioned by name, or with any identifying features of any kind. “CANDIDATES MAKE NEW PROMISES!” Heavens to murgatroid! What won’t these slimy politicians do to achieve elected office of some sort? They probably also “EXPLAIN POLICIES” and “ATTACK OPPONENTS!” They’d better watch out, though, because they might get “EMBROILED IN SCANDAL” or “QUESTIONED ON CONTROVERSY!”

Actually, you know what? That’s pretty much how most of political coverage in the newspaper really goes. Now I’m depressed.

Dennis the Menace, 5/8/08

So, will Dennis “disappear” in the sense of “sold to some shady Albanian businessmen and end up cleaning toilets in a mansion in Dubai?” Or in the sense of “entombed in concrete and dumped into the resevoir?” Alice’s face seems to indicate a certain detached curiosity, but little else.

Momma, 5/8/08

I’m not sure what the little dots in front of Francis’s half-crossed eyes in panel two are supposed to represent, but I think Momma may have just punched him in the face.

Pluggers, 5/8/08

Some kind of meat … little salty … tastes a little like chick–OH MY GOD HAROLD OH MY GOD

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 5/2/08

Sorry I haven’t been covering the Very Special Story of Elmer Vargas the Accidental Illegal Immigrant, but turns out it’s kind of boring! Elmer has lived in America since he was six months old, so he’s thoroughly acclimated to the culture; this is why he invokes TV as a totem to protect him, since he knows Americans love it before all else. Still, I fear that we’re going to see the Vargases deported just in time for Cinco de Mayo next week, possibly at the behest of the blonde-haired uber-Aryan in panel three. Is that Coach Mrs. Coach Thorp? I’d say I can’t tell yet who people are with the new artist, but honestly I had a hard time with the old artist too.

Pluggers, 5/2/08

What’s the saddest possible interpretation of this panel?

• Pluggers is a shameless sell-out, willing to take cash from any fast food restaurant chain willing to throw money their way.
• Pluggers is too dumb to sell out, and is just throwing in names for color because it can’t conceive of a world not completely defined by the omnipresent branding of multinational corporations.
• This family of pluggers will drive directly from KFC to visit their friend the chicken-lady while still gnawing on the bones of her slaughtered kin.

Mary Worth, 5/2/08

I’m not sure what exactly Ron is holding in the second panel, but I sincerely hope it’s his mother’s soiled bedpan, and he’s about to brain his brother with it.