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Marvin, 9/5/19

I’m not really a fan of the way Jeff and Guy Who I’m Reasonably Sure We’ve Never Seen Before But We’re Expected To Believe That He And Jeff Have This Long Backstory And Established Emotional Intimacy, And Also He’s Named “Bill,” I Guess, are looking at the viewer in the third panel, implicating us in their own retrograde view of masculinity. “It’s like, guys, am I right, people?” they’re thinking. “We’re incapable of feeding ourselves, and that’s why we’re dying of cardiovascular disease!”

Pluggers, 9/5/19

Pluggers know that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but more often it signifies the phallus, that potent symbol that proclaims and establishes male domination over society.

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Hagar the Horrible, 8/30/19

One of the running gags of Hagar the Horrible is of course that it’s The Honeymooners or [insert up-to-date cultural reference to a sitcom where the whole gimmick is that the married couple at the center of it don’t seem to like each other very much and fight all the time], but in a 9th or 10th century Europe under relentless attack by vicious Norse warriors, with said warriors being the viewpoint characters. But every once in a while we see that, despite their constant bickering, Hagar and Helga are indeed a well-matched pair. Does Helga for a single moment indulge herself in sentimentalism about the scores of men and women her husband has slaughtered for plunder, about the whole kingdoms that were torched to keep her in finery? She very much does not.

Pluggers, 8/30/19

Hmm, you’re a plugger if … you have adult responsibilities you have to fulfill before you can engage in recreational activities? And if your family life involves negotiating how much priority to give to those responsibilities with other members of your family? I have bad news for … literally everyone.

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Crankshaft, 8/27/19

Consecutive days without a properly constructed joke in Crankshaft: 238  0.

Gasoline Alley, 8/27/19

Aside from shouting his name at everybody, Physician’s Assistant Peter Glabella‘s gimmick is empathetic imitation: he hurts when his patients hurt, burps when they burp, gets thirsty when they’re dehydrated. So we scoured Gasoline Alley for somebody he could imitate who isn’t insufferably annoying. No luck.

Pluggers, 8/27/19

Grammy Bear has banished her own son from the house for the abomination of marrying a kangaroo. Apparently he’s still allowed to use the outhouse.

— Uncle Lumpy