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Pluggers, 12/11/19

Some commenters here think that I overread smugness into Pluggers panels. For instance, my first instinct is to interpret this panel as saying that walking into a chain coffee shop and just ordering a coffee (which, for the record, is what I do, and is something that workers at said coffee chains are perfectly happy to hear, you’re not blowing their minds or anything) is a morally superior act that really sticks it to the big city liberal millennials with their damn frappuccino macchiatos and such. But maybe I’m wrong! Maybe this is just meant to be a value-neutral descriptor of plugger consumer habits, and stringing together a series of nonsense fauxtalian terms isn’t meant as a slight towards the people who actually do order those drinks, at all. If that’s the case, I would propose that the real plugger here, in a country where working-class people are more likely to be in retail than manufacturing jobs, is the slouched, middle-aged, minimum-wage-earning balding-with-a-ponytail dog-man behind the counter, and not Andy Bear, who presumably has a solid pension and set of benefits from his union construction job. Dog-man is probably thrilled to get a plain coffee order, since that’s much less complicated to make! Truly, Andy’s choice is an act of solidarity!

Dick Tracy, 12/11/19

Ahh, our sinister villains are going to stop at nothing to lure Mike Nomad and Steve Roper to their doom, keeping at it even after their exploding car gambit failed. I don’t know why but I find the claim to be “armored car driver” extremely funny. It’s like their logic was “What’s the most trustworthy job? Cop. Oh, but wait, they know all the cops already. What’s like a cop, but, you know, maybe in a truck of some kind?”

Dennis the Menace, 12/11/19

Wait, does the Dennis the Menace creative team think that men call each other up to talk about the internet porn they’re looking at, while they’re looking at it? Because that would be incredibly menacing. Fortunately, nobody actually does that, but still, it sends a real chill down your spine, you know?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 12/11/19

Good news, everyone! Mindy had her baby, and Mindy and her baby are both still alive! Bad news, though: Check out the expression on Buck’s face in panel three. That’s the look of a man who’s had a terrible girl’s name up his sleeve for months, just an absolute dogshit name, and has been eagerly awaiting the moment to unleash it.

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Pluggers, 12/5/19

Finally, folks, finally, at long last, Pluggers has weighed in on the trend of wearing baggy pants that sag low enough to expose your underwear, the trend that (according to the impressively detailed and cited Wikipedia article) began over 20 years ago in the mid 1990s, long enough ago that many who were young and hip when it started have since aged into pluggertude, long enough ago that the trend has had time to mostly peter out and then be revived, and here is what Pluggers has to say about it: pluggers simply do not care for it. They do. not. care. for. it. Congratulations, Pluggers, on producing possibly the least surprising Pluggers panel in the entire history of this feature.

Mark Trail, 12/5/19

IMPORTANT NATURE TIP FROM MARK TRAIL: Does it feel like it’s gotten colder? This may be because of a change in the seasons or natural temperature variation; but it’s also possible that you’ve moved to a higher elevation. Be sure to stay vigilant and aware of your surroundings!

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Pluggers, 11/15/19

“What would a young one think a ‘telephone book’ is? Probably a catalog of smartphones — that is, a printed multipage document, filled with pictures and pricing information for various models of smartphones, which gets delivered to you in the mail or you pick up at a cell phone store. Once you’ve picked the smartphone you want, you’d call up the company to buy it, or maybe fill out a form from the back of the catalog and send a check along with it. I’m sure this is a real concept that kids are familiar with, and that they associate with the phrase ‘telephone book.’” –A plugger, apparently

Mary Worth, 11/15/19

Hard to know what to even say that could add to this objectively perfect strip. I guess what really makes it work is that it viscerally makes us understand what it’s like for Estelle to have a nightmare about Wilbur siring four identical Wilburbabies with her, because after seeing that second panel we’ll all be seeing those same Wilburbabies in our own nightmares tonight, and every other night until death finally takes us.

The Lockhorns, 11/15/19

“So, did you bring a dish? I said it was pot luck. You know what that means, right? A meal where people bring dishes to share? It’s a pretty standard English word.”