Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/26/21

So Sarah’s been writing this very long fan letter to Kitty Cop scribe and noted local writer’s block sufferer Kyle Vidpa for a while now, and Rex has done nothing but make fun of her for it. I had naturally assumed this was primarily because Rex likes making people in general and his children in particular feel bad for experiencing enthusiasm, but let’s not forget that Rex may be projecting a bit because he also sincerely dislikes being on the receiving end of enthusiasm, even from people who owe their lives to his doctoring skills. As far as Rex is concerned, the only way to demonstrate your positive feelings for someone is to send them a tiny envelope that is exactly large enough to include a check and nothing else. Please do not write “thanks!” on the memo line.

Mary Worth, 5/26/21

A key thing to remember about this storyline is that that Ashlee chose Drew as her photographer because of his Instagram account, which in turn earned a decent following not because he actually takes portraits of people, but because he takes nature pics. But gosh darn if the good Dr. Corey the Younger isn’t going to throw his all into this assignment, by dressing Ashlee in an extremely cringeworthy fringed two-piece and yelling things at her that he’s probably half-remembering from the sequences in Austin Powers where Austin is going undercover as a fashion photographer.

Pardon My Planet, 5/26/21

“Aw man, I guess if this joke is going to be contemporary, it should reference Netflix, not normal television. Netflix has season lineups, right?”

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Blondie, 5/24/21

Ha ha, the kids today! Always getting on the online and becoming millionaires! It’s almost unfair! Used to be you could get rich doing a syndicated newspaper comic strip and making people laugh all over the country! But not anymore! Now you gotta show your naked ass on SnapFans if you want anyone to take you seriously! Is that what you want, America? You want to see the naked ass of the creator of a syndicated newspaper comic strip? Because we’ll do it! We’ll show that ass! And then you can go to hell! You can go straight to hell! Fuckin’ teenagers!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/24/21

“Wow, a man so beloved that he no longer has to deal with his well-wishers as individuals, but can rather bathe in their adulation in the aggregate while his assistants take on the grunt work of actually interacting with other humans? Must be nice. Must be real nice.”

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Shoe, 5/22/21

Syndicated newspaper comics are, generally speaking, a relic from an earlier age, when there were only three TV networks and the goal for most entertainment was to be as broadly appealing as possible. But now it’s all about finding your passionate niche audience, and the strips are working to adapt. For instance, are you not yet vaccinated against COVID-19 but still open to the idea, and also you’ve always wanted to fuck one of the bird-people from Shoe? Well, today’s strip is for you.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/22/21

NEXT WEEK: REX MORGAN, M.D., PRESENTS: KITTY COP: THE POSTPONENING