Post Content

Blondie, 11/5/17

Wow, generally I think of Dagwood as being pretty cheery and not at all prone to self-reflection, so it’s kind of amazing amazing to see him waking up in the dark and staring out at the reader saying “Time for another day” in genuine despair. The only thing Dagwood really consistently dislikes is work, and this strip is canonically happening on a Sunday! Today is a harrowing look at the yawning emptiness at Dagwood’s core, the one he can never fill no matter how many sandwiches he stuffs down his gullet. In the final panel, he learns about the Daylight Savings Time mixup and realizes that at least it’s socially acceptable to escape into the blankness of sleep for another hour.

Mark Trail, 11/5/17

Ha ha, that got grim, didn’t it? Uh, well, let’s cheer up with Mark letting us know that sometimes animals do weird stuff, and it “goes viral” online! Can anyone explain why it happens? Mostly not! Mark, innocent lamb that he is, believes the scientists who tell him this bird’s mothering instincts were triggered by the fish’s mouth-hole. Here’s the truth, Mark: they’re kissing. That’s what kissing looks like. I know you think you need to work your way up to that with a rousing game of “got your nose”, but you’ve got to understand, these are animals.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 11/5/17

Our hero Buck has come a long way since he became dangerously dehydrated from walking around a comic-book convention. But today he’s facing a foe that will challenge all the physical conditioning he’s been doing since then: stairs.

Spider-Man, 11/5/17

AHAHAHAHA

SPIDER-MAN GOT DISTRACTED BY TALKING INTO HIS CELL PHONE AND WEB-SLUNG FACE-FIRST INTO A BUILDING

THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE

Post Content

Pluggers, 10/28/17

One of my favorite Pluggers attributions is “Lots of Pluggers Everywhere.” I just love the image of it, you know? Pluggers all over America encountering the phrase “online streaming,” in dribs and drabs, years after most people understood it. Maybe they’re asking their adult kids how they watch TV shows on they days they aren’t broadcast. Maybe their husbands got talked into signing up for the fancy new cable package and they’re trying to figure it out. They hear the phrase, and then they think — well, that just sounds like … you know! Hey, you know who would love this? They tap “pluggermail@aol.com” into their Windows XP PC. And at Pluggers HQ, the messages start coming. First a few, then more and more. Eventually it’s a mighty flood. Eventually, it cannot be ignored.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/28/17

Oh, hey, it looks like the art forgery plot and the domestic violence plot are gonna be the same plot! The whole thing hinged on Buck’s kid having a keen memory of the specific cruel putdown his abusive ex liked to use for him. This story is is grim as shit.

Post Content

Gil Thorp, 10/23/17

THE GIL THORP FOOTBALL SEASON STORY SO FAR: The football team is not great, and quarterback “can do some things well,” so Gil’s gonna resort to some classic Milford trickeration, like “the veer,” which I assume is some dumb weirdo formation from the leather helmet era like the wing-T, and which they’ll practice for weeks only to see it work for exactly three plays until their opponents figure out how to stop it, and also it’ll result in the whole offensive line getting concussed, somehow. Anyhoo, I’m a little in love with panel two here, in which Gil attempts to wow his mediocre quarterback with an expansive gesture in the direction of a 2009-vintage netbook where he’s managed to figure out how to make the file folders on his desktop different colors.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/23/17

Oh, right, that’s what happened to Buck’s abusive ex: she went to jail! Briefly, and none of the safeguards that were supposedly put in place actually worked. This continues to be a depressingly accurate depiction of how domestic abusers operate.

Mary Worth, 10/23/17

I think it’s a fantastic touch that Iris imagines Wilbur’s girlfriend as being the same height as him, and with greying hair. Like she’s hung up on on him and even she can’t get her head around this.

Crankshaft, 10/23/17

OH YEAH IT’S FALL AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS: CRANKSHAFT IS MAKING JOKES ABOUT PUMPKIN SPICE COFFEE! Anyway, anything that makes Ed Crankshaft so furious can’t possibly be bad, so it’s official: pumpkin spice is extremely good now.