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Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/23/24

This week we’ve been getting a little catchup on what the ancillary Rex Morgan characters have been up to, and it’s mostly pretty boring, but I did think you’d like to see what Justin’s whole vibe is now. You remember Justin, right? Niki and Kelly’s sassy friend who had a terrible puking sickness at one point? Well, he’s a hippie now. A hippie skateboarder. A hippie skateboarder … pirate? Also barefoot, if that’s your thing. Don’t worry, these kids are in college now, so they’re supposed to be 18, but are also clearly played by 36 year old actors, so don’t feel bad about it! Check out those feet if you want!

Six Chix, 5/23/24

You know how we make fun of snails for being slow? Well, what if they like it? What if they’re comfortable with being slow and wish more of the world was slow like them? This is a good Six Chix, I’m calling it now. Not sure that snails live in the desert though, seems like their whole slimy deal requires a moister environment, but I’m not going to do any research because I actually find snails kind of off-putting, due to the aforementioned sliminess. Still, you do you, snails! Slowly. Somewhere where I can’t see you.

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Mary Worth, 5/9/24

Dawn is reconnecting with her Connecticut WASP mother by attempting to enjoy high-prestige social pursuits like the ballet. Wilbur, meanwhile, has reacted to his brutal romantic rejection by descending into unkempt couch-based schlubdom. This is an experience Dawn knows a little bit about herself, so no matter how annoying she finds her mother’s culturally elitist suburban clique, she should be thankful she’s not being pulled back into that morass.

Hagar the Horrible, 5/9/24

It’s sad, of course, that Helga has no friends she can confide in. But thanks to her husband’s canonical illiteracy, she can confide in her books to her heart’s content. It’s like being able to scream in a language he doesn’t speak, constantly!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 5/9/24

Rex Morgan is about to face his most terrifying medical challenge yet: his family’s emotions, which he’s apparently supposed to care about. Remember that crazy guy who wanted Rex to do a little experimental brain surgery on someone in an attempt to “cure crime“? He refused then, but now seems to be contemplating whether he could “cure feelings that require attention from me” using nothing but his trusty power drill.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/24/24

OK, fine, I admit it, I’m a hypocrite: after many years of complaining that Rex Morgan, M.D., doesn’t do high-stakes medical drama, all of the sudden it’s been doing high-stakes medical drama and I haven’t been talking about it. Because it’s drama about an adorable dog, and that’s too high stakes! I don’t want a fictional dog to suffer! I want to see more stuff like the strip’s off-model Jughead knockoff developing a sudden inability to eat sandwiches! Anyway, the dog is going to be fine, according to this competent medical professional. There’s plenty to criticize about the current state of the medical profession, and now I’m going to add “I can’t bring a box of whatever I just ate too much of to the doctor and say ‘my tummy hurts’ and get a diagnosis” to the list.

Intelligent Life, 4/24/24

Speaking of your tummy hurting … you guys ever heard of DoorDash? DoorDash … for when you don’t want to cook food, and would rather just order it instead. DoorDash! [punchline TK]