Archive: Rex Morgan, M.D.

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Crock, 9/27/23

It might seem incongruent to think of colonizers as sentimental, but many have a certain image of the colonized as a backwards but noble people over whom they must regretfully take a parental role. This rarely survives a collision with actual flesh-and-blood colonial subjects, who are in fact real people who when given the opportunity will quickly become just as addicted to screentime as you are.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/27/23

Damn, after breaking him down emotionally, Mud and Buzz are strong-arming Rene into signing his intellectual property over to them before turning himself in for a long prison sentence, with only a vague promise of an unspecified “cut” of any profits. Sounds like Mud Mountain is back to being a jerk again, which, ironically, makes his character interesting again, so I say, keep grifting the grifter, buddy!

Hi and Lois, 9/27/23

Big news, everyone! After nearly 70 years trapped in a timeless stasis, Trixie Flagston has finally grown just a little bit larger! Or maybe she finally crapped her pants for the first time, who’s to say, the temporo-biological aspects of legacy comics are mysterious and frankly distasteful.

Gasoline Alley, 9/27/23

Wait, what? After a little light mauling those government agents have just given up on reclaiming this human child from its ursine captor? The America I believe in doesn’t negotiate with terrorists — or, should I say, bearroris[a giant vaudeville hook drags me off stage]

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Hagar the Horrible, 9/26/23

That big sweatball coming off of Lucky Eddie in the first panel tells the whole story here. “Ha ha, I’m a guy who’s crazy about beautiful women! Human women! Women with legs, not scaly fish tails! Not sure why you would think otherwise! Not sure why I even brought it up! Ha ha!”

Gasoline Alley, 9/26/23

Oh no, this child is already communicating like an animal! He’ll soon be lost to the human species altogether! Sure, he’s barking like a dog, not growling like a bear, and also the bear speaks English anyway, but the point is that we need to send Delta Force into this national forest immediately to extract this child and return him to normal H. sapiens society.

Beetle Bailey, 9/26/23

I was about to get mad that Beetle Bailey went to the trouble of putting a real QR code in this strip but then cut off enough of it at the top that you can’t actually see what it points to, but then I realized it probably points to some extremely bad naked Miss Buxley art so, you know what, I’m good.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/26/23

“I dunno man, I just thought it would end this conversation faster? I hoped it would, I guess I should say.”

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Blondie, 9/21/23

Way back in 2006 — which, I take no pleasure in reporting, was a full 17 years ago — there was a weird rash of syndicated newspaper comic strips doing jokes about how crazy it was that people would actually pay extra for distressed jeans. This was not exactly fresh material even then, but that didn’t stop They’ll Do It Every Time (RIP) and Six Chix and Pluggers and Curtis from making hay out of it. Normally I’d cruelly mock Blondie for being close to two decades late on this trend, but I do have to grudgingly respect the fact that instead of just laughing at this hot youth trend, Dagwood and Blondie are instead figuring out how to profit from it, like the innovators they are.

Marvin, 9/21/23

I genuinely kind of love that Jenny has the same bright smile in both the first and third panels of this comic. They even didn’t have a fight or anything! Instead she had the extremely freeing experience of hearing her spouse’s opinion and realizing she just didn’t care about it.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 9/21/23

Look, Rex Morgan, M.D., has one (1) recurring bad guy, so I’m going to need more evidence before I believe that he’s been brought to a state of blubbering catharsis by having his own pop-psychology scam repeated back to him by a roots country star. It seems more likely to me that, despite his understandable desire to get the money he’s owed, he’s been overcome by a similarly understandable desire to not hang around with these two drips anymore and sees a sudden change of heart/personality as a good opportunity to leave this scene behind him.

Mary Worth, 9/21/23

What do you guys think is in the bag, huh? A human head? It’s a human head, right? [everyone starts pounding rhythmically on the table] HU! MAN! HEAD! HU! MAN! HEAD!