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Crock, 10/27/23

If, like me, you have constructed a professional life that requires you to read the syndicated newspaper comic strip Crock every day, you need to learn how to “make your own fun.” For instance, despite my usual attempts on this blog to humorously link Crock with the actual history of French colonialism in North Africa, I generally “hear” the dialogue in my mind in standard English. But what if these guys have been speaking in comical French accents this whole time? What if Crock pronounces the improbable name of the new man in the “computer section” as “vee roos”? That would definitely be funny, right? Or at least funnier than whatever else is going on here? Please, I need this.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/27/23

“Say,” the average Rex Morgan, M.D., reader is thinking to themselves, “now that this whole Rene storyline appears to be wrapping up, I’m left with a question: should I care about it, or about Rene as a person and motivator for events?” Here’s one Rex Morgan, M.D., character to give you the answer: no.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/24/23

We do know how to cure it, Rex! The cure is called the Mirakle Method, and it broke Rene’s will and convinced him to give up his life of crime and turn himself in to the authorities almost instantly! You just watched the news segment where they talked about it on TV and everything. Rex should go to the local prison and visit that guy who kidnapped criminals and then begged Rex to operate on their brains, to give him the good news.

Marvin, 10/24/23

One of my personal hobby horses is that “a fire hydrant is like a toilet, to a dog” jokes in the comics have become further and further untethered from the underlying reality that dogs will just piss on any vertical surface in general and fire hydrants are often the best case scenario when walking a dog in through a neighborhood when the other options are houses, cars, and trees. Often my response is “have any of these people ever actually seen a dog piss on a fire hydrant?”, and today’s strip reveals that for the Marvin creative team, the answer is clearly no, and the version of the process that they’re visualizing is deeply disturbing.

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 10/24/23

Look, I’m sorry, I know that, in times of increased political and social tensions, legacy newspaper characters occasionally urge us all, in a folksy and extremely nonspecific manner, to get along, but this is Snuffy Smith we’re talking about. He’s involved in a violent feud with the Barlow clan that’s lasted so many generations that nobody can even remember its origins anymore! He’s not the guy to deliver this message.

Hi and Lois, 10/24/23

Yes, that certainly is how caffeine addiction works! You know, some people say that comic strips should have “punchlines,” but I think that’s a bourgeois affectation.

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Gasoline Alley, 10/22/23

OK, I dunno, look, maybe weeks and weeks of talking bear bullshit have ground me down into submission, but I find these comical aliens in their over-the-top uniforms kind of charming? A little? They’re whimsical, but that whimsy is tempered by the fact that, as their commander makes clear in the first panel of the bottom row, they are very much going to die upon contact with Earth’s atmosphere and biome, which is wholly toxic to them.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/22/23

Ha ha, Rene’s only been in the police car for a few minutes and Buzzy and Mud are already writing him out of the Mirakle Method story! He’s never going to see a dime of the money they promised him! Mud hasn’t reformed, so the Mirakle Method is as fraudulent as Rene always thought, even though it worked on him, so maybe it actually does work; it’s confusing but I have to respect it.

Crock, 10/22/23

This one works on a couple levels. It’s about cactuses that fuck, but it’s also a metaphor about how ladies love a guy who shaves his dick. Comics really are an incredibly rich and expressive medium.