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Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/30/11

Wow, never has Rex’s contempt for women been made more explicit. “See, Niki, women have tiny little fish-brains, and all they understand is wealth, status, looks, and power … all qualities I posses, fortunately. But then they want to ‘laugh’ or ‘feel loved’ and want you to ‘not be a surly dick constantly,’ which is bullshit. That’s why we’re out here on the boat, while the ladies are on the shore! Say, any more guys your age at that party you got the text about?”

Dennis the Menace, 10/30/11

In any sane world, the comic where Dennis learns that being nice gets you further in life than being menacing would be the last Dennis the Menace comic ever made.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/23/11

Ha ha, if you aren’t made profoundly uncomfortable by the preternaturally intelligent Morgan-child declaring her intention to make a teen boy her love slave, then you probably are a much better person than I am, and yet here we are! Anyway, I’d like to believe that I’d have an easier time viewing this strip innocently if (a) it weren’t clear that June is focused on keeping Niki’s lovin’ for herself and (b) panel five didn’t make Sarah’s collagen injections so obvious.

Marvin, 10/23/11

Ha ha, well known drug/sex addict Lindsay Lohan has shown up in Marvin, in toddler form! This is actually good, for two reasons: first, Lindsay has not to the best of my knowledge crapped in her pants in public lately, so her appearance here can only elevate this strip’s level of humor; and, more importantly, she has in the past sued people who have come up with thinly veiled baby versions of herself, which means that maybe Marvin will be bankrupted by legal fees.

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So ends the Fall 2011 Comics Curmudgeon Fundraiser — thank you one and all for your generosity and/or patience. GOOSETRAX will remain up into November for all your extended goose-tracking requirements, and you can check for fundraising banners you might have missed here.

Dick Tracy, 10/15/11

Dick Tracy is running a retrospective — a perfect excuse to revisit classic villains and antique themes like this “woman in peril” sequence featuring Tracy’s wife-to-be, Tess Trueheart. Why can’t we see stuff like this in other “new-old” throwback strips? I’m lookin’ at you, For Better or For Worse.

Apartment 3-G, 10/15/11

OK, Lu Ann here has parents and a torch-carrying childhood sweetheart (Cody Stiles, indistinguishable down to the neckerchief from cousin Blaze) back in South Dakota. We haven’t seen the mother lately; her relationship with her father is “complex”, but — like Lu Ann herself — only in the sense that it’s incoherent. Meanwhile, her Texas cousin Ruby seems to have forgotten that Lu Ann is no novice at this wedding business — Powers is her name from a marriage to a Vietnam-era fighter pilot who died in combat. Maybe Ruby doesn’t pay any more attention to Lu Ann than anybody else does?

Mark Trail, 10/15/11

Andy, unheard, is saying, “When Kelly Welly is the brains of your outfit, it’s time to find a new outfit.”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/15/11

Her improbably-coiffed swain may have kept Kelly waiting, but like a gentleman took the time and trouble to steal a car suitable for a lady. And now: POOL PARTY!!!

Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits – a Fall Fundraiser special, part 6

Mark Trail — 3/24, 3/25, and 10/22/10

This concludes Mark Trail’s Greatest Hits — until next time. Lordy, that duck’s the size of a Cessna.

— Uncle Lumpy