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Pluggers, 3/16/13

Cats are a species that are always suspect when it comes to Real American Authenticity, so naturally the cat-plugger tends to be an outsider in the world of pluggerdom. Speaking as a cat-type myself, I’m not sure what exactly this panel is all about — are there baseball cards that don’t come with bubble gum? are they “fake,” somehow? wouldn’t old cards sold at a garage sale have stopped smelling like bubble gum years ago, assuming they aren’t in their original wrapper? — but it’s fun to see how sad the cat-plugger is at having his wares rejected. Haha, cat-plugger, your attempt to sell off these tiny bits of your childhood and some of your furniture in order to stave off economic catastrophe has been met with only scorn! Why don’t you go back to gay communist France, with your bogus baseball cards?

Mother Goose and Grim, 3/16/13

One of the central schticks of Mother Goose and Grimm is that Grimm the dog and Attila the cat cordially despise each other, but even still, Grimmy isn’t a narc. He knows that snitches get stitches! (Or more stitches, in this case.)

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/16/13

Nearly eight years after Mary Worth threw down the gauntlet, Rex Morgan looks poised to be the first syndicated continuity strip to feature a graphic vomiting scene. Just in time for a large-format full-color Sunday strip, too!

Mary Worth, 3/16/13

You guys, I’m starting a new meekcore band called Beth Kinley, and the title of our first single will be “I’ll Just Have Regular Water (If It’s Not Too Much Trouble)”.

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Family Circus, 3/5/13

You know, the Family Circus has a reputation for being all about kids being unbearably adorable and cute, but it almost as often focuses on kids being obnoxious, irritating, and unsanitary. Which is pretty much what raising actual kids is like, I guess! Anyway, last week’s running plotline, which now appears to be continuing indefinitely, was that Big Daddy Keane was home sick in bed, and every day the kids annoyed him, and he looked increasingly miserable. In today’s panel the kids appear to have been barred from Daddy’s bedroom, just as they have been barred from even rudimentary information about where babies come from.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/5/13

Well, also, you need money to buy things to eat, ride in, and read! But sure, Heather, tell Sarah that money is mostly a way to keep score against other people, that won’t turn out badly at all.

Apartment 3-G, 3/5/13

Ugh, when Margo falls in love it’s the worse. “Yes, I was betrayed by my lover, who was secretly working for my rival and who may have conspired with her to try to kill me, but somehow I can’t get worked up about it.” MURDER, MARGO, YOU SHOULD BE THINKING OF NOTHING BUT MURDER AND VENGEANCE, STOP MOONING OVER GREG AND START PLANNING YOUR KILLING SPREE

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Apartment 3-G, 2/27/13

Wow, now I’m really bummed that they’ve made Margo’s parents boring, because that guarantees that the sex scene that’s starting today will be super dull.

Herb and Jamaal, 2/27/13

“Mommy, the floor is covered in broken glass!” “Whatever, kids, walk around it. It’s the weekend!”

Spider-Man, 2/27/13

“Sooo, that missile is heading … more or less towards the water, right? Probably less than a one in three chance that it will land on those houses near the beach, or will kick up a blast wave that will spread damage for miles. Certainly no reason for us to not just spend the next twenty minutes telling each other how great we are!”

Rex Morgan, M.D., 2/27/13

“‘Pick your gay nephew to manage the property, Melissa,’ I said to myself. ‘The gay nephew won’t turn it into a stripper party house,’ I said. Oh, my beautiful plans, all shattered in pieces at my feet!”