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Marvin, 7/16/23

Setting aside for the moment the entire “how old is Marvin” question — he’s preverbal, at least for this strip, and not potty trained? — I’m not sure who we’re supposed to sympathize with here. Personally speaking I would not want to be forced to go out to “play” by myself with no friends or toys in sight. Also, I know we’re in the front yard here, but I assume he’s not supposed to be exploring the neighborhood, seeing as he’s preverbal and not potty trained? I’m all for free range kids but that seems a little young in my opinion.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/16/23

Eye surgery is, like, a thing you specialize in, right? It’s not necessarily something you want your neighbor, who’s a G.P. and never liked you in the first place and is visibly annoyed with you and your whole situation, to do after watching a quick YouTube video?

Dustin, 7/16/23

You know, this isn’t the sort of thing I’d usually recommend, but maybe Dustin’s dad could try drinking a little more. Just to take the edge off. Just as an experiment! It’s not like his personality could get much worse.

Dennis the Menace, 7/16/23

Probably unsurprising that Mrs. Wilson fears the looming spectre of death, while Mr. Wilson frankly welcomes it.

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Hagar the Horrible, 7/14/23

Wait, did we know that Hagar was bald under his omnipresent trademark horny hat? I did some deep research (went to my advanced archives search page, looked up “bald” for Hagar the Horrible strips, didn’t find any mention of it, looked up “hat” and “head” but there were too many hits and I didn’t feel like going through them all) and have come to the conclusion that I at least did not. Someone is probably going to drop a triumphant link to me talking about it in 2013 or so in the comments, so it’ll be interesting to see if Past Me agrees with Present Me, because Present Me kinda hates it. At least we won’t have to look at bald Hagar very much in the future, because those trolls are very much going to kill him, right? And eat him? Maybe not in that order?

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/14/23

Say what you will about Rex Morgan, M.D., but it does a pretty good job with facial expressions, in my opinion! Like, take Rex in panel two — I feel like this is nicely capturing the two contradictory impulses rising within him: “Ha, do these rubes think I would ever attend a social event at their home, they’re even dumber than they look” and “If next week they’re having yet another drunken rager and they haven’t invited me, I am 100% calling the cops.”

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Mary Worth, 7/13/23

Do you think this warehouse is the same one where the famed Operation H-Town shootout went down way back in ought-nine? You know, the one where Scott, the heroic cop who was in love with Dr. Jeff’s sad sack daughter Adrian, got shot and ended up in a coma, which finally inspired her to accept his marriage proposal, but then he regained consciousness so she had to go through with it and eventually they sort of vanished from the strip? Anyway, my point is that there can’t be that many crime warehouses in a small community like Santa Royale, so it’s probably the same one or pretty close to it, and you can understand why these police officers, remembering the tragic night when they almost lost one of their own, are surprised to find a bunch of non-dead dogs in there. I guess this town really is gentrifying nicely!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 7/13/23

“Say, you know, one way to deal with that problem would be if your kid suffered some kind of physical trauma that resulted in amnesia, just a whole chunk of your child’s mind and experience wiped conveniently away. Probably the sort of thing that should be done under the supervision of a medical professional, if you want to go that route. My fees are not very reasonable, but you’ve already said that you’re rich, so I assume that’s fine.”

Blondie, 7/13/23

Does it work in those Hallmark movies? Hallmark movies, a genre that stereotypically panders to the fantasies of its female audience? And in those movies, men get out of chores by complimenting their wives’ physical appearances? And that works, you say? Hmm. Hmm.

Zits, 7/13/23

“He’s been a teenager since this comic debuted 26 years ago! Why would he start aging now? It doesn’t add up!”