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Spider-Man, 4/21/08

Behold … the VULTURE! The latest in the rogue’s gallery of sinister, inhuman supervillains to plague the newspaper strip version of Spider-Man, the Vulture terrifies us with his powers … or, um, menacing costume … uh, actually, he just appears to be some ordinary dude in jail mumbling vague threats of vengeance. Since this is Spider-Man, the prison guard is threatening him with the ultimate act of torture: the withdrawal of television privileges.

Blondie, 4/21/08

Attention Amalgamated Blondie Humor Industries LLC: if you are going to do a close-up on one of your characters, as you do in panel three here, please actually draw the character in close-up, rather than just increasing the scale of their face in Photoshop. Otherwise it looks strange and disturbing.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/21/08

Any public official will tell you that there comes a time in a town hall meeting when the thread is simply lost, never to be found again. Rex Morgan, M.D.’s MRSA meeting has hit that point, as angry townsfolk begin to demand that the county health commission bring their loved ones back from the dead.

Pluggers, 4/21/08

Pluggers have no idea what an enormous pain in the ass they are to everyone around them.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/18/08

Man, Mr. HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT just will not let up, will he? At least he’s now gone to a we’re-all-in-this-together scheme with a first person plural rather than an accusatory second person, but he’s still damn annoying. I think Skinny Coroner Guy’s MRSA advice is just an excuse to throw bleach at Yelly McShouterson and then “limit contact” with his fists.

It’s possible that our volatile vested fellow just uses this catchy phrase as his catchphrase in any and all situations. Those of you who are better than me at using Photoshop might enjoy exploring the different people and things he’s shouted HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT at, like so:

Luann, 4/18/08

I just want to point out that Luann and her mother are both ignoring that the Standard Creepiness Rule for dating age differences, as canonically described in this xkcd comic, allows for a larger age gap as both parties get older. Thus, it’s creepy for a 21-year-old to date a 16-year-old (those are my assumptions about Luann and Ben’s ages), but it’s not creepy for, say, a 30-year-old to date a 24-year-old, or a 45-year-old to be married to a 33-year-old. Sorry, Luann, you’ll just have to wait until you grow up.

(OK, mostly I just wanted to link to xkcd. It’s great! You’ll love it!)

Ziggy, 4/18/08

Wow, somebody doesn’t understand how computers or video games work at all. It’s even less athletic than you think, dude.

Apartment 3-G, 4/18/08

Man, leave it to Apartment 3-G to make even the hot girl-on-girl action boring. Please, Gabriella, this eyebrow-peck is hardly gasp-worthy.

I know I shouldn’t be looking to Lu Ann for a firm grasp of economics, but isn’t the whole point of keeping the number of prints limited to drive the price up? It’s supply and demand, just like we learned about in Curtis the other day. She’d just be encouraging her initial buyers to get rich in the resale market, if her paintings were any good.

Gil Thorp, 4/18/08

And if there’s one group who learned the hard way that you shouldn’t pay for genetic engineering unless you have the money to do it right, it’s the lumpy, mutated flipper-people of Gil Thorp.

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Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/16/08

We’re still in the opening salvos of this Rex Morgan, M.D., storyline, so it’s all deliriously wonderful and such. Don’t worry, it’ll get boring and stupid soon enough, and then I’ll complain about it for a bit until I just start ignoring it completely; but when that day comes, I hope I’ll take some solace in the thought that any plot that contained both Rex’s snide complaint about the common people’s filthy, filthy noses and a bearded, vested man bellowing HOW ARE YOU GOING TO KILL IT can’t possibly have been all bad.

Spider-Man, 4/16/08

The “bad news” Peter Parker warned us about yesterday turns out to be even less superhero-related than usual for this strip. Still, since Peter continually (and some might say passive-aggressively) fails whenever he tries to leave the house to support MJ’s career, you’d think that he’d be pleased by this news. “You mean I can watch your movie right here at home, on the TV? Yes!”

Marvin, 4/16/08

Panel two of today’s Marvin may be the lowest point the art form of comics has achieved to date. It isn’t helped by the fact that the dogs are incongruously standing on their hind legs and towering over Marvin, making them look less like dogs and more like people in dog suits. Urine-soaked dog suits.