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Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/22/08

With Niki adequately rewarded and Rex’s gun returned to its holster, an exciting new adventure in Rex Morgan, M.D., is brewing, and if today’s panel one is any indication, it should be lovely. Check out our good doctor’s look of raw panic as he gets the news; it’s less “An outbreak of antibiotic-resistant staph in our town? As a medical professional I need to do all I can to fight this scourge” and more “AAHHH! THE PLAGUE! EVERYONE RUN FOR THE HILLS! Ha, I’ve got the car keys — June, Sarah, you’re on your own, see ya!” Rex’s stammered hedging in the final panel definitely seems to indicate that he plans to spend the next few months in his sealed, bacteria-proof underground shelter and not mucking around with some do-gooder task force.

Funky Winkerbean, 3/22/08

Ah, now we find out why Les is going to ruin his oldest friendship by taking a second job he doesn’t need: he wants to make sure he can obsessively control every aspect of his daughter’s life. Thank goodness they live in a town as pathetic Westview; Les can be sure that if Summer’s on a date and isn’t eating crappy pizza under the flickering glow of Montoni’s fluorescent lights, she’s definitely having an unprotected “solo car date” in an empty parking lot somewhere.

Pluggers, 3/22/08

Pluggers are so stupid and thoughtless that they find even basic gestures of courtesy to be total mysteries if they aren’t explicitly spelled out for them.

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Cathy, 3/19/08

As you know, I take this blog’s original promise — that I would read the comics so you don’t have to — seriously. Still, sometimes it’s hard for me to read Cathy for you. Not just because I find it irritating almost beyond measure (although I do), but because it just takes so much damn time. I don’t want to sound like some kind of quasiliterate philistine, but every Cathy includes an awful lot of words, which frankly I just don’t care to deal with. And what with a newspaper that comes every day and a New Yorker that comes every week and a whole pile of books that I’m supposed to be reading — well, sometimes all that text in Cathy just kind of get glossed over, you know?

Imagine my surprise, then, when I ready today’s Cathy and found myself quite engrossed as I watched Irving squirm in silent anxiety while he mused on his fate. It made me think about how lucky I am. After all, I just have to sort of make a half-hearted stab at reading the thing once day, which takes up maybe 30 seconds of my time, tops. Irving, on the other hand, is married to Cathy, every second of every day. Not that it’s likely to get me to read Cathy more closely, but it does really sort of put the whole thing into perspective.

Funky Winkerbean, 3/19/08

Hmm, let’s see … Les is already working a demanding and no-doubt soul-crushing job as a public school teacher, and is a single dad wracked with paranoia about his teenage daughter; nevertheless, he plans to give up his weekends to start working for his best friend from high school, who’s been transformed by age, capitalism, and an insatiable and unfulfilled need for sweet, sweet liquor into an insufferable prick. Whee! Good times ahead!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/19/08

Man, June sure looks awfully pleased to be taking the dog to get her shots, doesn’t she? In panel three, we learn why: anything to get out of the house, now that yet another of Rex’s long line of male “friends” is calling to “talk.” Maybe if she shows a little skin to the vet, she can score some of those tasty animal tranquilizers — you know, the ones that keep her feelings at bay.

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Ah, relaxing on a Monday night … done with work … maybe I’ll surf the Internet a bit … read the comics — wait, comics? Aw, crap, I knew there was something I was forgetting!

Yeah, uh, let’s do some quick Sunday strips to catch up!

Marvin, 3/16/08

Just when I think Marvin can’t get any more delightfully charming, we’re treated to the spectacle of Marvin’s parents engaging in witty banter as their child stews in a mess of his own creation. I just hope that when time has ravaged my lower GI and urinary systems, I’m capable of making droll witticisms while I wait for my caregivers to clean off the filth.

Doodles by Mac and Sack, 3/16/08

I’m sure little comics-reading children across America enjoyed this week’s Doodles, which featured an adorable little koala unable to sleep because he’s forced to sleep inside the mouth of a monstrous insect-beast, presumably to satisfy his creator’s sadistic sense of whimsy.

Plus, a couple of charming panels:

Panel from Apartment 3-G, 3/16/08

Margo dropping the star-bomb isn’t really news, but Margo cussing because she can’t find her other glove is definitely amusing, and Margo using her gloved hand to point to her non-gloved hand so as to demonstrate the missingness of the other glove makes me positively giddy.

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/16/08

Oh, June, are you sure this is a conversation that you really want to have?