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Mary Worth, 4/2/22

I love that Mary Worth seems to be edging towards “what if we did a story about cancel culture and #metoo overreach … but we gender reversed it” but then they didn’t fully gender reverse it, instead leaving Cal a vacuous and vaguely horny cipher and making some random middle-aged lady the villain. Obvious a man can’t ruin someone’s life with hysterical accusations! Men can’t be hysterical! It’s right there in the name!

Rex Morgan, M.D., 4/2/22

So we see where Rex Morgan stands when it comes to sensitive content: totally OK with catering to the increasingly baroque desires of foot fetishists, but prudish about showing a guy getting beaten to death with a lead pipe in the backseat of some car by a guy who looks like Thomas Dewey. And honestly? I’m fine with that.

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Blondie, 3/28/22

I honestly kind of respect how Blondie is just absolutely committed to doing jokes about whatever big pan-cultural event is on the calendar, and in a way that doesn’t engage with the specifics of said event at all, instead just acknowledging that it exists at an extremely surface level, so that the jokes could theoretically be reused for years to come (though amazingly I’m pretty sure they never are). The cultural net is pretty wide, too, and I’m not sure if that’s meant to make sure that there’s a little something for all the Blondie-heads — “the folks who weren’t into our generic March Madness gags last week will surely appreciate the generic Oscar gags this week” — or if the Blondie creative team truly believes that almost everyone has a certain amount of interest in a core set of cultural touchstones. If it’s the latter, they’re probably the last real idealists left in America.

Anyway, I do wonder about the creative process that led from “how can we cash in on America’s Oscar fever” to the punchline “he just gave it … 3 flames up!” It seems clear that this is a reference to the thumbs up/thumbs down movie-rating metrics made famous by Siskel & Ebert 30 years ago, which is an acceptable cultural horizon for Blondie readers, no argument there. And flames instead of thumbs, sure, because of the comical exaggerated flames coming out of Dagwood’s mouth. But why three? Because if two is good, then three is better? Have they forgotten that the origin of the system was two movie critics who either agreed or disagreed, and now they’re simply treating it like a simple star rating scale? I have to say I’m pretty disappointed in this one.

Dennis the Menace, 3/28/22

Dennis, you’re … you’re looking at the TV right now! You know what he’s watching! Are you precisely attuned to Mr. Wilson’s emotional state and know what in his media diet triggers him, but can’t tell the difference between sports being played and the news being reported? Because that’s profoundly menacing, and not in a good way.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/28/22

Oh no, Rene’s got to go on the lam again before Raymond (?) hears the news! And just when he finally figured out a way to make money legitimately (selling high-quality oil paintings to foot fetishists).

Crankshaft, 3/28/22

I’m very excited for Crankshaft to become a hard-core anti-pharma “natural living” influencer guy, mostly because I assume he’ll be dead by the end of the week due to his various untreated ailments.

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Family Circus, 3/27/22

I actually think this is a pretty clever strip, though I would argue that, just as the strip sometime updates old art to acknowledge that flatscreen TVs exist, it could’ve improved things by maybe updating some of the fashion choices on these imaginary old people, since those constitute a pretty important aspect of what you think an old person looks like and how others perceive how old they are! But the funniest thing to me is the quip from Big Daddy Keane that sets this off. Can you imagine someone bringing up a mutual acquaintance and your first reaction is “That guy? Oh yeah, he’s old. He’s old as shit. Doddering motherfucker with one foot in the grave. Wears adult diapers, probably.” Anyway, I would type out more terms of abuse here, but then it occurred to me that the typical person whose oldest child is 7 is probably younger than I am by as much as a decade so I’m gonna go have a nice lie down for a few hours.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 3/27/22

And I’m back! With this one I mainly want to point out the “I still don’t know what this is!” in the right panel in the second row. That’s called an author’s signature, Sarah! It’s how you know who drew this comic! I can’t believe after all you’ve been through you’re still sneering at people’s attempts to establish their ownership of their intellectual property!

Barney Google and Snuffy Smith, 3/27/22

Kind of surprised it’s taken almost two years for the comics to engage with the “30-50 feral hogs” meme, but the specific strip that was the first to do so is not a surprise at all.