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Judge Parker, 10/24/21

OK, I just want to establish a few facts here. The reason Abbey is so upset is that, now that the mayor is publicly accusing her of insurance fraud, the whole town is turning against her and she got yelled at when she went up to the local Starbucks or equivalent. And yet look at what’s in our heroes’ hands: it’s Sam who’s drinking out of a paper to-go cup while Abbey is using a regular coffee mug she probably got out of the cabinet. In other words, even though she’s filthy rich, she’s happy to just drink drip coffee from the machine in her kitchen, while Sam insists that he simply must have his daily half-caf mocha frappuccino or whatever put together by a barista for $9. So, isn’t he the real villain here, for making Abbey brave the hostile public so he could get his dumb caffeine milkshake? I mean, Abbey sucks, but let’s not let that distract us from the ways that Sam also sucks.

Six Chix, 10/24/21

Keeping you up to date on “Six Chix is occasionally good in an opaque and baffling way” news: Today’s Six Chix is good, in an opaque and baffling way. Ha ha, the tunnel is full of fish! She won’t even be able to navigate her little rowboat in there, because it’s packed so full of fish! What a delight.

Panel from Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/24/21

“Plus people find you weird and off-putting. They don’t want to be around you and definitely don’t want you at their wedding!”

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Pluggers, 10/12/21

After years of discussing pluggers, I still don’t fully have a handle on every nuanced characteristic of pluggerdom, but honestly “there is very little overlap between pluggers and stage magicians” was one that I feel like I could’ve guessed at pretty easily.

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/12/21

Ma’am! Ma’am! There’s only been widespread and earnest use of streaming for stuff like weddings since the coronavirus epidemic started a year and a half ago! It’s different than it was in our day too! There’s nobody around getting married whose day this is!

Dennis the Menace, 10/12/21

Mrs. Wilson is cruelly laughing not at her husband, but at Dennis. It’s funny because Dennis thinks of Mr. Wilson as one of his best friends, but Mr. Wilson doesn’t even like him!

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Blondie, 10/11/21

Is it just me, or does Lou look a little downbeat in that last panel? “I thought he’d say that,” he’s thinking to himself. “But a guy can hope, can’t he? Would it have killed him to give me a little specific feedback on the historical accuracy of my Columbus Day special? Or maybe just praise my creativity and craftsmanship? But no, he’s just going to start shoveling food down his gullet, just like every other time he comes here. I might as well just set out a trough.”

Lockhorns, 10/11/12

Gotta respect the way the Lockhorns keep their marriage fresh by constantly coming up with new extremely petty bullshit to criticize each other over. At first I thought that stick of butter meant Leroy is doing the “bulletproof coffee” thing, though I guess that’s for his … single tiny pancake? very flat English muffin? bread disk? Whatever, I’m sure Loretta has something to say about that too.

Mark Trail, 10/11/12

I thought maybe this forest fire bit was a callback to some deep Mark Trail lore, but the last time there was a forest fire in this strip it involved some chump named Wes, so maybe not. Anyway, Mark, Cliff went and fought in a war since last you saw him, what have you done, huh????

Rex Morgan, M.D., 10/11/12

TIRED: Jordan and Michelle’s wedding reception is ruined when the shadowy band of soldiers of fortune that Jordan used to run around with decide that he’s a potential liability who must be eliminated

WIRED: Jordan and Michelle’s wedding reception is ruined when Michelle’s dad meets Buck and the two of them just absolutely will not shut the fuck up about roots country legend Truck Tyler