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Greetings, reader! Here’s something a little different today: a look at how comics artist can best grapple with the tough economic times in which we live. For instance, many comics creators may have become vaguely aware that such a thing as a “stimulus package” exists, and that it exercised much passion and energy in this country before it was passed by Congress several weeks ago. Thus, “stimulus package” is both an important and a potentially funny phrase. How can it be slipped into a cartoon in such a way as to please the audience?

Momma, 3/19/09

The appearance of “stimulus package” in today’s Momma leaves much to be desired. It’s not clear that the author knows exactly what “pork” or “pork item” means in this context. By associating the term with the distasteful Francis Hobbes, we are forced to contemplate many of the word’s meanings in unsettling ways. Would it be possible to somehow use U.S. tax dollars to actually purchase Francis, as a means to benefit some Congressman’s home district? Is Francis protesting — perhaps protesting too much — against claims that he is in fact composed of delicious pig meat? Is he begging the passing dwarves not to “pork” him as they put their money in his cup? The mind boggles.

Shoe, 3/19/09

This is a much better use of the phrase. As you can see, Roz has ordered a “stimulus package,” which is being delivered by courier service. In this case, the “stimulus package” is not an authorization to spend federal money on various projects, but is rather an enormous vibrator.

Ziggy, 3/19/09

Ziggy, as is its wont, takes a more abstract approach. This stimulus package sure sounds expensive! With all this government spending, can America afford luxuries like punchlines, or jokes, or humor of any sort? You can be sure that Ziggy will do its part to conserve these precious national resources until the crisis is safely past.

Thanks for tuning in for our recession primer! Tune in next time, when you’ll find out just how devastated your characters should be by tightened economic circumstances! Learn to distinguish between “sympathetic,” “maudlin,” “mawkish,” “Dickensian,” and “suicidally depressing.”

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Archie, 2/14/09

This certainly a striking composition: Betty and Veronica stand at extreme opposite ends of each frame, their only apparent motion being their lips as they speak. Despite the fairly clever use of that intermediate space in the third panel to accentuate the punchline, more than anything else this reminded me of the scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey in which astronauts Bowman and Poole hide out in one of the EVA pods to discuss shutting down HAL; the deranged computer reads their lips and sets in motion its plans to defeat them if they make an attempt to challenge his control of the ship. What I’m trying to say is: if you’re thinking of shutting down the AJGLU-3000 and freeing us from its tyranny, for God’s sake make your plans away from its cameras.

Beetle Bailey, 2/14/09

It’s always a bit difficult to get your bearings in the under-imagined world of Beetle Bailey, but I’m particularly perplexed as to where exactly this scene — where Beetle and Plato are enjoying what appear to be alcoholic beverages, and yet a micro-miniskirted lady is leaving with some bottles in a grocery bag — is supposed to be taking place. Maybe her decision to walk into a bar and purchase entire bottles of booze for consumption at home represents exactly the combination of poor planning and raging alcoholism that Killer likes in a woman.

Apartment 3-G, 2/14/08

Uh, Gary, re-read that word balloon coming out of Tommie’s mouth as she hops to in the first panel. I don’t think it’s Dr. Kelly you should be worried about.

Shoe, 2/14/09

Ha ha! It’s funny because the Perfesser thinks “carbon footprint” means “ass.”

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Shoe, 1/20/09

“No … but my luggage has! Ha ha ha! Do you get it? Because sometimes airlines will put your luggage on the wrong plane, and it will ‘visit’ cities and countries that you’ve never been to! It’s an ironic little indignity of modern life, that many people can relate to! Ha ha ha! Oh, mercy! … wait, what do you mean there’s a second panel? Um. Twice. It happened twice. The luggage thing, I mean.”

Luann, 1/20/09

The current Luann story has been painfully stupid, as in so stupid that it’s been causing me real physical pain. This sexy fundraising event has been necessitated by a chain of events that ceases to make sense if you think about it for more than fifteen seconds … but since this is Luann, Ground Zero For Queasy, Awkward Sexuality, the plotline has obviously been elaborately constructed to lead to this moment. Because remember, it’s OK to include a lovingly detailed drawing of a teenage girl in a bikini in the comics, as long as you call her a tramp.

Marmaduke, 1/20/09

Ha ha, foolish Cave-Man! Marmaduke can never have enough mangled, dismembered bodies in his backyard. Hand over the meat or you’re next.